My life after...

It's been another month

2011-12-06T17:38:00.001-06:00

Well, it has been another month, and I am still working for the GED office. It is part-time, but at least I still have a job. I have applied for another job, but haven't heard anything back from it. I would love to keep the job I have, but I need a full time job, with benefits would be nice. But I will take what the Good Lord gives me, and I will be thankful with what I have. When he wants me to find another job, he will lead me to it.

I find myself sometimes getting very melancholy lately. I miss John so very much this time of the year. I know that he is no longer in pain, and I know that God called him home, but the human side of me just wishes I could have one more hug from his precious arms. Just one more,"I love you, mommy," from his precious lips. One more glimpse of that twinkle of mischeviousness in his beautiful brown eyes. I try not to dwell on all that, because I know that it just opens the heartache that I feel every day wide open. I go on with life, because that is just what I have to do. I take every day as the blessing it is, but still wonder what he would have been like as a 16 year old boy, who he would like, would he have a girlfriend and if so what kind of girl she would be. All the pondering of what things would be like are useless, I know, but a mother that looses their child just can't help but wonder. Or at least I can't help but wonder about these things. But life goes on, and so must I. At least until it is my turn to be called to the Lord.

Until the next post, I pray that God blesses and keeps you all safe and happy.

Judy

2011-10-28T18:05:00.000-05:00

Well, there are only a little over two more months in this year. It seems like this year has just flown by. I graduated from the tech school with 2 diplomas, and I have been working for the adult education program through the tech school since graduation. It has been a temporary job, but I fell in love with it none the less. Today was my last day, or at least it may have been. The lady that was out that I was covering for is coming back Monday, so unless they find another position for me then I will be out looking for another job. I won't know until my supervisor calls me or I go in Monday morning whichever comes first. I am praying for them to find me a position, but it will be up to the Good Lord to make the call. He is in control. I have realized while going through all the things during John's treatment and since his death that no matter how much we think we are in control, or try to convince ourselves that we are in control, we are not. God is in control. We control our actions, and have free will, but he is in control of the results of our actions and the results of other's actions in our lives. I am so comforted to know that He is always there for me, and that if I let him guide me and I follow His laws, in the end I will live with Him in the glory of heaven. I feel sorry for those that haven't learned that yet, and I pray that they will realize it before it is to late.

May He bless you all as He has me!

Judy

In honor of John's Birthday.

2011-09-25T19:00:00.000-05:00

This, Too, Shall Pass Away

By: Lanta Wilson Smith

When some great sorrow, like a mighty river,

Flows through your life with peace-destroying power,

And dearest things are swept from sight forever,

Say to your heart each trying hour:

"This, too, shall pass away."

When ceaseless toil has hushed your song of gladness,

And you have grown almost too tired to pray,

Let this truth banish from your heart its sadness,

And ease the burdens of each trying day:

"This, too, shall pass away."

When fortune smiles, and, full of mirth and pleasure,

The days are flitting by without a care,

Lest you should rest with only earthly treasure,

Let these few words their fullest import bear:

"This, too, shall pass away."

When earnest labor brings you fame and glory,

And all earth's noblest ones upon you smile,

Remember that life's longest, grandest story

Fills but a moment in earth's little while:

"This, too, shall pass away."

Today would have been my son, John's, sixteenth birthday. I miss him still, just like the day he passed away. I try not to let it get me down, but I still have those days that really get to me. But I was at my new job, I started about 5 weeks ago, and I was getting some things ready for my supervisor when I came upon the poem that is above, and a peace came over me. I thought in honor of my precious son, I would post it here so that maybe someone else's pain might be eased as well.

I love and miss you son!

May God bless us all!

Judy

September 6, 2011

2011-09-06T20:38:00.000-05:00

Well, it has been a while, but I am still around. I graduated from Tennessee Technology Center with 2 diplomas on August 23, and took a temporary job with Adult Education through the Tech school on August 22. I am enjoying being in the labor force. It is work that I went to school for and a good work experience, and I plan on keeping it until they don't need me any more.

B.J. started her senior year, man does that make me feel old. She will be 18 in a few more months.
John would have been 16 on the 25th of this month had he not went to be with the Lord in Heaven.
Becky is still working and doing well, and Brad may be deploying soon. He would have already deployed had he not broke his foot a few days before deployment. But it is healing and he may be going overseas real soon.

Well, that is about all I have to say for now. May God Bless You All!
Judy

Another day of class

2011-07-22T19:24:00.003-05:00

Well, another day of class is nearing its end, and I am so glad. I only have about 4 and 1/2 more weeks, and I will graduate. I need to be working on my cover letter, thank you letter, and thank you card. I also need to be printing examples of my work, but oh well, I can do all that this weekend. I am glad for the weekend to be here, I need a break from this stuff for a day or two. I hope to find a job pretty soon, but I have faith that I will get one when the Good Lord is ready for me to have one.

It is hard for me to believe that it has been 4 1/2 years since John passed away. Sometimes I feel like it just happened. That I just came home without him from Vanderbilt, but it isn't so. My heart still aches for his smile, loving arms, and sense of humor. I know he is in a better place, but that just leaves me here without him.

B.J. and I are at each other's throats at least every 3 days. I will be glad when we get through this difficult time and can be closer again. I miss when she was little. She and I were as close as could be until I had to go to Vanderbilt with John and had to leave her at home so that she could continue her schooling and such. I sometimes wonder that if I had taken her with me how things would be now. I know that we did things the right way, but there is always that doubt in my mind.

Brad will be deployed soon. It seems unreal that he will be so very far away. I feel almost like I am loosing another child. I know he will be okay, if that is God's will, but my fears still get the better of me sometimes. I guess I still need to work on my faith more, huh.

Becky is still doing well. Working hard, that is for sure, I just wish her husband would take a notion to find a job and help pay the bills. I hate to say it, but he is starting to really remind me of my ex-husband, and that is not a good thing. He buys her things to make her feel good, but at the turn of a dime, he will say things to make her doubt herself and feel bad about herself. Just like Charles always did me. I just pray that he will grow up, and treat my daughter the way she deserves to be treated.

Joe and I are doing well, just trying to make ends meet until I can graduate and get a good job. I worry about him, as he doesn't really take good care of himself. He takes care of all of us as best he can, but he doesn't take care of himself. I guess life insurance is the first thing I need to start after getting a job.

Well that about wraps it up here. I need to get ready to go home.

May God bless and keep you safe, happy and loved.
Judy

Hello again

2011-04-19T12:08:00.003-05:00

Hello again, it has been quite a while since I posted. I have been pretty busy, but thought I would take the time today to post an update.

I had my surgery and it went well. Pathology came back OK, and I went back to school in a reasonable amount of time. I got caught up and even got a little more ahead. I have 2 more tests until I am done with one of my third trimester books, and the second trimester isn't even done yet. I have today and tomorrow, and then awards day and I will have the 2ND trimester over with. I have a 97 average, and will receive another academic award as well as my Information data processing certificate. One more trimester and I will get my Accounting Assistant Diploma, if all goes well.

The family is doing good, and I am very happy. This past week has been tough. It was the 4Th Anniversary of John's passing, and it was a tough one. Watching the kids that John was close to at church doing their LLL stuff was a real rough time for me. I couldn't help think that he should be up there with them. And also wondering what he would look like now, and who he would be friends with, and how he would be doing in school. It really sucks sometimes being a mom who lost one of her kids to a disease like he had. I sometimes feel that people don't understand and that they just expect me to "get over it" and I just can't do that. It isn't easy at all. I don't think I will ever be quite the same again. But I will go on and try to make him very proud of his mom.

I will finish school,

I will get a job,

I will help his sister get through,

And I will go on.

I don't really have a choice, do I?

But I will be "okay" and life will go on. So may God bless us all!

Judy

Another Day

2011-02-10T19:55:00.003-06:00

Well, today is just another day in this cold winter God has decided to grant us. We have had a lot of cold days and snow too. But what will be will be. I will be having surgery soon, a hysterectomy, because of fibroid tumors. I am a little scared, not because of the type of surgery but because of the fact that I am diabetic and asthmatic and that could cause difficulties with the surgery as well as recovery. Hopefully I will be able to have the procedure lapriscopically (sp?), but we will see.

School is going well, I have a 98 average overall. I have finished Accounting I, Microsoft Word, and almost done with Excel. I will then only have PowerPoint and Access to finish this trimester up. Then it will be Accounting II, Quickbooks, Payroll procedures, and Your Career, I think that is all of them for the 3rd trimester.

Hopefully I won't get behind during my leave of absence for my surgery. Well, it is time for me to do something other than play here.
God Bless,
Judy

life

2011-01-28T11:54:00.002-06:00

Well school is going well, I have a 99.5 average for the trimester so far. I have finished accounting I and Microsoft Word 2007, and I have Excel, PowerPoint, and Access left to do. I already have my third trimester books so that if I finish this trimesters books early, I will be able to go ahead and word on the others.

Life outside of school is not as good at this point. Finances are really bad, and I am not sure how I am going to get to school, or how the bills will be paid. I just hope that our income tax return comes in quickly so that we can get our bills caught up.

I am missing John so much these days that I am in a constant state of tears, and really have to focus on something else to keep from letting them flow. If it ever starts I do not know how I am going to stop them. In a couple of months it will have been 4 years since he died. Four years since I have seen his precious face, and heard his loving voice tell me he loves me. They say that it is supposed to get easier, but here lately it seems to be getting harder instead. Nobody really knows how much it is bothering me, I refuse to let anyone in on it. It seems like when I try to talk to my "friends" about it their eyes glaze over and it is like they are tired of hearing my sadness. I don't feel like I can talk to my family about it because I don't want to burden them with it, they have enough on their own plates to deal with. I was able to go to church services on Wednesday, and it seemed like I didn't have much support there either. Or at least not as much as I used to. May be my imagination, may not be, that is just how it felt to me.

I know that God has a plan, and that he will guide me, but I just feel almost like my faith is withering like a flower without water. God help me, touch my heart and heal it to where I can be happy again without feeling guilty about it. I need your comforting arms.

May God bless all of us that have lost someone near and dear to our hearts.
Judy

Back to school

2011-01-04T22:58:00.002-06:00

Yeah, school is back in full swing. Already took a test, in accounting chapter 7, and made a 99! Yeah me. And I am half way through chapter 8, and should be ready to test again around Thursday. Then I will have one more chapter and I will have accounting 1 completed. I have about decided that I like the accounting, and I am going for the diploma in accounting, Accounting Assistant, as well as Administrative Assistant. Then if I can't get a job, and can continue to get financial aid, I will try to get the 2 medical diplomas (Medical Administrative Assistant, and Medical Coding/Health Insurance Specialist) Then I will just have to keep looking for a job until I get one. And when God is ready for me to have a job he will help me to find it.

I am glad that I am back at school, I think this Christmas season was the hardest so far since John passed away. I think part of it was because Brad and Tiff moved to Texas because that is where Brad is stationed in the Army. I had a hard time trying to keep from getting so depressed that I didn't want to get up out of bed or do anything. Nobody really knows just how bad a time I had this year. I tried to hide it because I know there are some people who would think, "Okay, it has been three years now, move on already." But if they only knew, but I wouldn't wish the experience on my worst enemy, let alone a friend.

Well, it is getting late, and I need to make sure that B.J. gets up for school tomorrow.
Til next time, God Bless you all,
Judy

Merry Christmas

2010-12-22T14:13:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas to all! Just a quick post to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Brad and Tiff are in Texas now, and he is being processed in. They are in an apartment, and waiting for the army to get Brad processed and then they can find out if the army will come and get their furniture so they can officially be moved in. I miss knowing they are a phone call away, if I should need them to come over. Becky is doing well, working and enjoying married life. She and Sage are in their own place now, and though money is tight they are doing okay. B.J. is half way through her Junior year, and has made an A on her dual-enrollment college course. I have finished my first trimester of Tech school with a 94 average. I received an acedemic award as well as my General Office Assistant Certificate. The only bad thing is that my hubby's work is down to nothing. We can't even pay all our bills on time, let alone buy gifts for anyone. But I know God will provide what we need, so I will just have to trust him and his judgements. Well, that about does it for now, hope you all have a great Christmas, and remember the reason for the season, Jesus Christ's birth. Our Savior and hope for a life in heaven.
God Bless you all,
Judy

Long time no blog.

2010-12-12T18:59:00.003-06:00

Yes it has been a long time since I last blogged, but hey, nobody is perfect. I have been going to tech school, and I am enjoying it a lot. We have 3 more nights, then Awards day Thursday and we are done with this trimester. Next trimester starts on January 3rd, and I am looking forward to another trimester of cramming knowledge in my head. I have an average of 94 or so overall, and I will be starting on Word, Excel, Access, and PowerPoint next trimester. These are the ones that I have been looking forward to. I love working with a computer.

My son, Brad, graduated from Bootcamp and is now a United States Army Soldier. He is a Tanker, which means he will either be driving a tank or working as loader, which means loading the ammo. The only thing is, he will be stationed in Fort Bliss, TX. That is quite a ways away, but with the Internet, we will keep in touch, as much as possible anyway.

We are getting the first snow of this winter season. It has been a very long time since we had snow before Christmas. Schools are closed tomorrow, at least the public ones are. Don't know about tech school yet. Of course there are a lot of happy youngsters out there for sure. I wish I could take some pictures and post them, but I am already fighting off the funk, so I am not going outside to take them. I love taking nature pictures, but don't want to end up sicker than I already am. Maybe next time, but anyway, it is time for me to end this post.

May God Bless you all!

Judy

Thanksgiving, What I am thankful for!

2010-11-24T12:08:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I am so thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful for my family, for they fill my heart with love, I am thankful for being able to go to school to better my mind, and with God's help, get a good job when I graduate. I am also thankful for my friends, for they support me when things get tough. But mostly I am thankful that I have God in my life and that he gave His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross so that I may be able to live in the Glory Land with Him some day. What is there to worry about when you have God in your heart, for God will provide! All he asks of us is to believe, and to give ourselves to Him. This country was built on the foundation of Christianity and God, and I just pray that the people leading this great land of ours will put God first again. I am also thankful that in about a week, I will see my son, Brad, again! He graduates and becomes a United States Army Soldier on the 3rd of December. I am so proud of him. He will be stationed in Fort Bliss, TX after graduation, but will be here for about 2 weeks before he has to report to Ft. Bliss. I will miss them, I have grown very fond of the chats and visits from Tiff, his wife, while he has been in Boot camp. I love her as my own, and I am so proud of how she has been dealing with their bills and business while he has been in Ft Knox. She is a blessing to the family. Well, that is about all for now. What are you Thankful for?

2010-10-17T17:05:00.003-05:00

I got to talk to my son today. He is through the first six weeks of basic training, and starts his AIT or whatever it is called where he gets trained in what he signed up for, which was the abrom tanks. I also got a picture from Tiff, his wife, so that I could see him.Isn't he a good looking young man? I think so.

I can hardly wait until December when I actually get to see him and give him a hug from me in person!

Well, I will go for now.

God Bless,

Judy

School update

2010-09-28T11:33:00.002-05:00

Hello all! Just thought I would update everyone on my school progress. So far I have finished one book, but should finish the second book within the week, and then I will start Office Procedures. I took the test on Chapter 6 of Human relations last night and made a 90 on it. I am on the 7Th Module in Keyboarding, and should test on it in the next few days. Then I will have 2 more to go and I will finish that book and start Business Math. It doesn't seem real that I have got this far and only been in school four weeks. I was afraid that I wouldn't do well, but my confidence has increased, and I am more sure than ever that I will get through Business Systems. I may take 4 trimesters or maybe 5 if I can continue to get pell grants, and that way maybe I can get more of the Majors. I am going for Medical Office Assistant, as well as the other Medical Assistant, but would like to get the general office assistant, and a couple others as well. I will do what I can, and I am sure that if God wants me to get through more of the majors I will. With God, all things are possible!

The last weekend was pretty rough for me and for B.J. because it was John's birthday Saturday. He would have been 15, and it was worse this year than it has been the last couple years. I don't know why, but it hit hard, but thanks to family and the Lord, I got through it best I could, and I am doing better now. B.J. is still hurting, and I think that is part of her problems, but getting her to go to a psychiatrist is not going to be easy. I do intend on making an appointment tomorrow or the next day. She is home today, and I don't want to make an appointment with her here. Her dad will have to take her after school on whichever day I get an appointment, because I will be at school, and I can't miss much or they will kick me out. Wish us luck on getting her the grief counseling she needs, and getting her to open up.

Anyway, it is about time for me to get some work done and get ready for school. Hope you all have a blessed day.

Judy

Blah, blah, blah

2010-09-25T12:40:00.004-05:00

Warning though this post might start of with an update on my progress in school, it will probably end in a vent session.

Okay, so school is going pretty good. I have a 95 average in keyboarding so far, and a 88 average in Human Relations, and I finished with a 98 average in Computer concepts. I only have 2 more chapters in Human Relations and I will be finished with that book, and 3 more modules and the final test in Keyboarding. I will then move on to Business Math and Office Technology & Procedures as my next 2 books. I am looking forward to the different books, but apprehensive at the same time. With new books comes the need to find out what the questions will be like on the tests. Like with Human Relations, it took me 3 tests to figure out exactly what they were wanting us to learn from the text in the book. But I will get it one way or the other. I will work hard and get it done.

Now the vent. Why do kids tend to let their friends run over them and take advantage of them, and then get mad when their mom tells them about how wrong it is for their friend to take advantage and use people. When a friend uses your child, they may as well have used or taken advantage of you, and I am not one to put up with that crap. I have tried and tried to help my daughters friend, knowing what her situation at home is. And now that B.J. has her license, they seem to think that I have all the gas in the world or that just a dollar or two makes up for the gas that they use in my car. And then they use my car, and neither of them put gas in the car. B.J. said she couldn't give me the gas money she promised because some came up missing from her purse. That doesn't mean she isn't responsible for what she promised, and it makes me mad that her friend decided not to hang with her because I wasn't letting my car go without gas for the last time and this time, and I meant 10 dollars. Her friend said she didn't want to pay 10 dollars to go up town when she could go to Columbia for that much. Well, what about what they owed me for the last time. Did she think of that? NO!!!!!! I will not be taken advantage of any more by that girl, and I am sorry if my daughter hates me for it, but if she starts up again, I will tell her exactly what I think of her and how she treats my daughter and how I think she is a manipulative using little pain in the butt!!!!! I just wish my daughter would find a friend that doesn't use, that treats her as well as she tries to treat this so-called-friend that I am really starting to despise! I know that if I put my foot down and tell her she is not to be around her any more, she will gravitate to her like flies to honey. But I am about at the point that I do not care if she hates me forever, and about to say that this friend is not to be at my house anymore, in my care anymore, and that B.J. isn't to print out anything for her at my expense. I was used and treated like B.J. is being treated by this girl when I was young, but it only took one or two times for me to put a stop to it. This has been going on for quite some time now, years to be truthful, and I am so tired of it!!!!

Now, since I got that off my chest, I hope that you all have a wonderfully blessed day. Remember to tell your kids you love them, because you don't know when or if you will be able to some other time. John would have been 15 today, and I would just love to tell him how much I love him.

God Bless you all,
Judy

One book down.... many more to go!

2010-09-18T19:40:00.002-05:00

Well, I finished my first book in the Business Systems Technology curriculum. It was Computer Concepts, and I have a final average of 98. It only had 3 chapters, and I have worked with computers for a while so I know most of the basics. I have 5 more chapters in Keyboarding, and 7 in Human Relations. As I finish these 2 books, I will start some more. I don't know how many books I will have to finish, but there are quite a few.

Other than school, things are the same here, B.J. is a teen pain in the butt, and Joe works as much as he can when there is work to be done. So it is about the same as before I started school, except that I don't get online to much during the week, cause I am to busy studying.

Well, got to go for now,
God Bless,
Judy

Well....

2010-09-10T12:19:00.002-05:00

Well, today has been one of those days. I was sitting, and watching a movie and all of a sudden, the thought popped into my head that in 15 days my son would have been 15 had he lived through his disease and treatment. Then the tears started falling uncontrollably. I am still tearing up and have to try to pull myself together so that I can go to school, and get some studying done. Deep in my heart I know that he is in a much better place, but that doesn't change the fact that there is a big, no HUGE, hole in my heart and I miss him so much. I wonder sometimes what he would be like as a teen. What kind of girl would he like? And how much of a pain in my butt he would be as a teen testing his boundaries? Would he be like the rest of his siblings and cause me a lot of late nights crying myself to sleep, or would he have been the one that wouldn't get to out of control and make his mom cry? I guess these are some questions that will never be answered, and I really don't need to dwell on them, but it is so difficult not to wonder. Most days, though I miss him terribly, I can keep on with my life and be okay with it, but then there are some days that it really hits me hard. So hard that I just want to crawl back into bed and just cry until I am so exhausted that I can't cry, or anything else, any more, and today is one of those days. But I will go on, I will do everything I can to make my angel John proud of me, and do everything I can do to be right with God so that when it is my turn to be called to my loving Saviors side, He will say to me, "Well done my good and faithful Child" and I can live with him in Heaven for eternity. God grant me the serenity to accept the things that can not be changed, the strength to change the things that can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

God bless you all,
Judy

The first week down!

2010-09-09T13:13:00.003-05:00

Well, the first week of school is finished. I have taken 2 tests, one of which I will be retaking tonight because I made a 74 on it and if we make under a 77 we have to retake. It is still passing, but it is lower than financial aid requirements, so we have to try to bring it up. My Keyboarding on the other hand I made an 80 on the written test, and a 100 on the objective test, so my average is 90. Yeah me!!!!! I will take it!!! LOL. The Human relations, the one I didn't do as well on, is confusing. I understand that human relations is important. People have to get along in order to have success in the work place. But the history of "Human Relations" and that kind of stuff just..........Well I never was any good at history of any sort, so that about covers why it confuses me. The way they word things in the book, compared to the test is another thing that gets me. But I will take the test again, and get through it one way or another. Of course I pray God will help me with it a lot!!!

Things are getting a little more settled here at home. It was hard getting into a little routine and stuff, but my husband is great and helps a lot around here when he gets home. He knows I need the extra study time and that I can't get everything done and still do my studying. And B.J. is helping too. She is still getting adjusted with the new schedule too since she is taking a college course through dual enrollment on Thursday nights. But we are managing, and I keep telling myself that it should only be about a year, or so, and then I can get a job and we can readjust again! HAHAHA!

We, hi ho hi ho, it's off to school I go!
God Bless,
Judy

tests, YUCK!

2010-09-07T23:01:00.002-05:00

Well, I now remember why I didn't like school back when I was young. The tests!!!! You think you have studied enough and you take the test, and you think to yourself,"Was that in the book?" They word everything completely different and throw you off, and confuse the living daylights out of you. Needless to say, I didn't do as well as I thought I would. One of the tests I have to retake because I made a 74, and if you get below a 77 you have to retake it. The other one I made an 80 on, and that isn't even what I thought it would be. So, I have the option to retake the 2nd one over again too. And I may do just that. I could get all down about it all, but I think I will keep a positive outlook and just think of it this way: at least I know now more of what is on the tests, and what to study a little harder on in each of the classes I tested in anyway. And I will do better as I get more used to actually studying things. It has been over 20 years since I took any classes besides a little Russian, and that was at church and for fun, not for a grade. So say a few prayers for me! I will be retaking the tests in the next 3 days.
God Bless!
Judy

September 7th

2010-09-07T10:28:00.002-05:00

Well, it is September 7Th and I am getting ready for my first 2 tests which I will take tonight. We did finally get officially enrolled last Thursday, and I have my books. I have been working on 2 subjects, but am going to add a 3rd so that when I am waiting for test results I can have something to do. So, my tests today will be in Business Relations and Keyboarding. The Keyboarding will be first at about 4:00pm and the other will be at 6:00pm or 7:00pm. I am really enjoying being in school so far, and that is a real shock to me and to my mom. I hated school when I was young. I think a lot of it is the fact that I felt like it was more of an obligation than something that I really wanted to do. But now, it is a different story. I have been trying to get into school since the Summer Trimester, 2009. I wanted day classes, but had to go with night classes. But that is alright because it seems that there are not as many students in the evening course. I like the instructor, he will let you know how he feels, and then leaves you alone unless you need some help, or he feels he needs to say something to you. I still have some adjusting to do, but I am handling it so far.

Well, I need to go study,
May God bless you all,
Judy

First night at school.

2010-09-02T11:41:00.002-05:00

Well, my first night at school was interesting to say the least. The office never called our class up so we could register, so I am unofficially, officially enrolled now. But we had no books to work out of last night and for the first 2 hours we just sat there bored to no end! Then the instructor took us newbies to have a pow-wow, that was another hour or so. Then he found some keyboarding books and an English book, so I got to start on my keyboarding. I found it rather fun, and I finished with the first lesson and got 2 drills into the second lesson. I also found out I can still type 58 words a minute, not bad for someone who hasn't been doing a job with typing involved. I just blog, and chat online and stuff. Hey, it helped keep my time up. LOL. Internet is a good thing!!!! I think so anyway. But anyway, I hope they get us registered and get our books tonight so that I can be working it. I like the fact that it is more or less work at your own pace, so I can hammer out the stuff that I am comfortable with, and take my time with the ones that I am a little worried about. English being the first one!!!!! I am not that comfortable with that subject. I am looking forward to the math though, I always liked math back when I was in school. It will be good to brush up on my math skills. I also found out that I can get more than one certificate. It is up to me and how much I can get done in the next year or so. Some people get 2 to 3 within one year. So, hey, I will get all I can get as long as I can get the help with funding! I have help for the first year, so if nothing else, maybe I can get 2 to 3 in that time, and if I can get the funding, I can do more in the trimester or 2 after that. We will just have to wait and see.

Well, that about does it for now,
God bless!
Judy

Well, the time is almost here!

2010-08-31T20:13:00.003-05:00

The time is almost here! Tomorrow at 2:30pm I will start my journey through the Business Systems Technology course at the tech school. I am so happy it is finally happening and that this time next year I should be graduated from it and trying to find a job. I just pray that God will help me through this as well as finding a good job when I am done. I know I can do it, I just hope I can do it and juggle the stuff that needs done at home. I am afraid that my family may not help enough with the house work and stuff. My husband has to work, and he may be to tired to do much, and my daughter has school and stuff and to be honest she just may not do it. But what will be will be, and I will deal with it as I need to. So if I don't post much, not that I do much right now, but if I don't it is because I am just to busy instead of not having much to post about.
God Bless,
Judy

Why?

2010-08-25T22:17:00.000-05:00

Why do teens rip out the hearts of their mother and stomp on them and make them feel like the dirt under a snakes belly, then get all mad when mom tells dad, and dad gets on the teen, so she takes it out on mom. Teens, can't live with them, can't kick them out. What to do, what to do? Crying doesn't help, ranting doesn't either. I am just about ready to go ballistic. I do the best I can to set realistic rules and guidelines for my kids, and they have all tried them a lot, but B.J. strikes at my heart and tries to hurt my feelings and stuff and I can't handle that. My others just fussed and feuded and got over it for a while. Not B.J., she just tries to hurt my feelings in hopes of getting her way. She doesn't do hardly anything I ask of her, and she takes advantage of me too. Lord please help me figure out how to discipline her in a manner that will teacher her the right way to do things. Put it in my heart to know what to do. I am about at my wits end. I am starting a new path in my life, and now she is giving me trouble. I can't take much more. Please help me Lord,
Judy

Wow, it seems unreal.

2010-08-18T16:22:00.002-05:00

I now have all the stuff I need to register my daughter for the act test. It seems so unreal to me. When did she get old enough for the act test, or to be taking college History classes in dual enrollment? It just seems like it was yesterday that she started Kindergarten, and now she is a junior in High School and has her drivers license. I am so proud of her! She does so well in school. I pray she continues to do this well through high school and then through college. I feel old! :( LOL Thank you Lord for giving me my precious children.
Judy

Stuck between a rock and a hard place

2010-08-16T10:50:00.003-05:00

I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. A friend of mine went a little to far, and has hurt my daughter's feelings. Then when my daughter just let it slide, and was trying to forget about it (which is a very mature way to deal with things like this), the friend said little snide remarks that brought it back up, at church no less. My daughter, once again, just let it slide and didn't make a scene, which makes me proud because there are a lot of times you just have to be the mature one even if you are younger. But then, the wife of a friend saw a post on facebook that my daughter had posted the night it all happened, which was almost 24 hours prior to her reprimanding remark that really ticked my daughter off. Now I feel like I need to stand up for my daughter, but I want to do it in a mature and christian manner, but I also know that my friends take things to personal and get offended real easy. Like they never make mistakes or something, I guess that is the way I would describe them. So, my problem is this: My daughter has been trying to deal with it in a very mature way, but now that it hasn't been dropped, do I confront my friends and if so how. HELP!!!!! I don't like confrontations, but I will not let my daughter be made fun of the way she has, and I will not keep telling her to let it slide when she hasn't done anything wrong. All she did was react to someone else going to far. How do I tell my friends this without them taking offence?
Confused and Stuck,
Judy

It is official

2010-08-13T18:57:00.003-05:00

It is official, I have pre-registered in the evening Business Systems Technology class at the local Tennessee Technology Center. And I now know how all the kids feel having to have immunization shots. I had to start having the MMR 2 shot series, because when I was little it was just rubella shots. It is now mandatory for all students going into higher education have both of these shots. I also decided to get the tdap (new version of dpt), as well as to start the Hep-B series. I chose to take the last two on the advice of the nurse at the health department. Can we say pin cushion? I felt like one yesterday! LOL! My arms are sore today, but I am good. I officially sign the registration forms and get my books and start class on September 1st. I will be in class from 2:30pm until 9:00pm. I will have a 30 min supper break too. So it is 6 hours a night,5 nights a week. I am excited as well as nervous. I will try to post every now and then and let you all know how it is going.
God Bless,
Judy

Proud, and yet sad

2010-08-08T20:34:00.002-05:00

As I sit here tonight I am proud yet sad at the same time. My oldest child, Brad will leave Tuesday to head out for Basic training in the United States Army. He will be at Fort Knox, and he entered to become trained as a tank crew member. I am proud of him, as I am proud of all who give their service to this great nation. If not for our military, this country would not be what it is today. Of course this country was based on Christian values, and without God, we would have nothing. That being said, this country would not be the free country that it is if not for the fine people who have given their lives for it. Those that served are to be honored and thanked at every chance. We had a family cookout Friday for Brad, and a couple of nice young men that he met while doing his pt. They will be heading to their basic training in the next week as well. I pray for them, as well as all those heading to training, or who are already serving for our fine country, whether here or overseas. Thanks also should be given to all the families that await their loved ones to come back from deployment. These families have to go on with life without a major part of their family, and they do it proudly, and with so much grace. At least the ones I have met have. I know how difficult this can be since I am a "Navy Brat" myself. My father is a 20 year vet of the US Navy. There were many times that he was on the aircraft carriers and we missed him a lot. So to all the families out there with loved ones serving, Thank you. And to the Soldiers themselves, Thank you! And I pray the Good Lord keeps you all safe, and bring you back to your families safe and quickly.
May God bless and keep you all,
Judy

Excited and Nervous

2010-07-27T10:56:00.002-05:00

I am both excited and nervous. As a lot of people know, I have been trying to get into the Technology School, into Business systems for 1 1/3 year now (they have trimesters). Well yesterday, I decided to go back up as I usually do shortly before a new trimester begins, and found out that I am still number 18 on the day class waiting list. So I decided to be added to the night class waiting list as well, so that I can get started with schooling. After all I am already 46 years old, I need to get some education and get started on "my life" now that B.J. is going to be a junior this year. I am almost an empty nester, so it is my turn so to speak. Any way, I asked where I was on the night class list and they said that I was number 8. So I said, "OK, so how many spots are going to be open in that class this next trimester?" And guess what, they are going to have 8 openings. I take that to mean that I am going to be going to school. Now that the time is here I am excited but nervous. I didn't like school that much when I was young. I didn't do so well in college, actually got academically suspended from MTSU, then dropped out of Columbia State with only 5 more courses to take, 3 composition and 2 cobalt programming classes. So, I am just nervous as I can be. Have I grown enough to buckle down and do it? Will my brain absorb the information well enough for me to pass. AHAHAH!!! What am I doing? Well, I will put my best foot forward, and do my best and PRAY a lot too. HA. I have faith that I can do it, so I WILL do it. Pray for me!
I pray the Lord Blesses you all,
Judy

Another day

2010-07-21T12:13:00.002-05:00

Well, today is another day, a day to try to get some things done. I finally finished my fafsa form, yes I am still trying to get into tech school. It has been over a year, September will mark 4 tri-mesters of waiting on a waiting list for day classes, but I am still trying. Tomorrow I will go up and see if I can find out if I will be able to get into day classes. If it doesn't look like I will be able to get into day classes, I guess I will do night classes. I don't want to, but I can't wait forever to do day classes.

I have a young friend over, he is playing Zelda, and I think he is getting a little frustrated. I know how he feels, I have already played way past where he is, and it does get tough. His parents had to take his sister to a doctors appointment, so I agreed to let him come out here and play the Wii and then I can take him to church. They should be back either before church, or before church is over, so he will go home afterwards.

Other than that, things are going okay. Can't complain, the bills are being paid, and that is what matters. Hopefully if I do get into school, it won't be but a little over a year, and I can go out and try to find a job that has benefits, and we will then be a 2 income family so things might get better.

Well, I am off of here for now, hope you all have a blessed day!
Judy

Life

2010-07-14T10:01:00.002-05:00

Well, life has it's ups and downs for everyone. I am doing okay, just having a few issues, don't know exactly what it is. Muscle weakness, getting tired doing little to nothing. If I do much, I feel like I have run a marathon. I went to the doctor, they did blood work, but didn't find anything. He seemed to think it was a viral thing, but it should be better by now I would think, after all it has been 2 days since I saw him and little has changed. They checked my B12 levels, but the results won't be in for a few days (which means any day now), and they gave me a B12 shot just in case. I don't know, we will just have to see how things go.

My son is having a rough time right now too. His Aunt is suing him over a motorcycle. I don't know when it became okay to sue your own family, but his Aunt is. They bought it in their name for Brad, then when he wanted to come back home to TN instead of staying in Idaho, they got mad at him and wouldn't let him bring the motorcycle home with him. He didn't feel it was right paying for it when they wouldn't let him bring it with him, so he didn't pay them back. Well, apparently they didn't pay for it either, and the bank repo'ed it and sold it and there was a 5,000 dollar difference so the bank sued his Aunt for the difference since it was their loan. Well, in Idaho, a verbal agreement, even if they broke it by not letting him bring it with him, is just as binding as a written one, and she won't even let him pay it off a little at a time, and is really being awful to him. I would never treat family that way. I have been screwed by family too, but I didn't sue them or make it harder than it needed to be on them. Who knows, I am just glad I am not part of that family, except through my kids, any more.

Becky is doing okay. She is working at a decent job in the field that she is schooled in, Cosmetology. She is married, and happy, and she is off to Maryland with her husband and some of his family on vacation, visiting his family up there and going to the zoo, and to the Smithsonian Institute. I am proud of them for doing well, and making a happy life for themselves. She is upset that her brother is having to deal with so much, and is finding out that their fathers side of the family isn't all they thought it was. She is starting to understand why I left her dad, and doesn't hate me so much for it. She actually had Bobby Joe give her away at her wedding. She didn't even want her dad there. She invited her grandmother but she wouldn't even come. So sad that family is, I feel sorry for Becky and Brad for the way their fathers side of the family treat them and each other. I am proud though of how she is dealing with it.

B.J. is, well, B.J. and is a typical 16 year old who doesn't talk to her parents unless she wants to. And when she wants to talk, it doesn't matter if we are busy or if I am trying to sleep or have "me" time. Of course if she needs to talk to me, I will drop everything and listen the best I can. It is hard to believe that she will be starting her Junior year of High School. She is growing up so fast and she is my last child home. I don't know where the time has gone. I feel like I missed so much of her youth while I was away with John while he was getting his BMT. I feel like I let her down somehow. I know I was doing what I had to do, but that doesn't make it any easier when it comes to me not being there for her. I did my best, but was it good enough? All I can do is the best I can from here on.

Well, that just leaves my husband, and step-children. My hubby is doing well, or as well as he can. He has had an ulcerated place on his foot that he has been having treated since April. It is finally about healed, but it was bad for a while. I thought he would loose his toe, or even his foot for a while because it looked so bad. But he is doing much better now so that is good. My step-son Wilson is still living with his mom, and jobless, and not trying to take care of himself. He never graduated, and won't get his GED, and won't try to find a job. I worry about him, what will happen when his mom isn't there to take care of him, I do not know. I didn't give my kids the option of living off me, so I do not know what will happen. I won't take care of a grown man who won't try to take care of himself. My other step-son is doing well. He is living in Mobile, Alabama with his fiance, and they have a beautiful son named John Micheal. So, yes, I am a grandmother. Step-Grandmother really, but none the less he is my grandson. I love him so much. Amber, my Step-son, Bobby's fiance is a good girl. She is getting her GED, and they are working hard to move into their own place. They are living with her grandparents right now, but Bobby has a good job and they were house hunting last weekend. I am so excited for them.

Well, that about wraps this up for today, so I will close for now.
May God Bless us all,
Judy

Well, the 4TH is over.

2010-07-05T21:16:00.002-05:00

Yes, the 4th of July is over. I am so thankful for the freedoms we have and the men and women who gave their time and lives to ensure those freedoms. I am thankful that we can go to church without being persecuted, and gather with family and even shoot fireworks without worrying about freedoms. but I am tired and would like to get some sleep tonight so I hope all the firework fanatics will be done with them until next year. You really know you are getting old when you want peace and quite shortly after dark. LOL. But honestly, I haven't felt that well the last couple days, and would like to get some sleep before 12 or 1 tonight so that maybe I will feel more human tomorrow.

I miss John a lot right now, maybe because he enjoyed being able to just go outside and look over the trees and see the neighbors fireworks until late during the independence day celebrations. Maybe just because I still have spells missing him a lot. I often wonder how he would be doing in school now, if he had lived he would be starting High School this fall. I often wonder if he would be attracted to the girls yet and if so what type of girl he would have his eye on. What would he want to be, and how many times he would change his mind on his future goals. But these are a lot of things that I will not be able to share with him. I won't be able to watch him grow up and make mistakes and laugh, and cry with him. I won't be able to see him drive off to his first date, or his first prom, or graduate or anything like that. All I can do now is try to remember everything I can about him, and who he was and what he did while he was here on Earth with us. I still get so very angry, especially when I see parents who don't care about their kids. I did care, I did love, I still love all my kids. Why, oh why did mine have to go at such a tender age? I know God has his reasons, and I know I will find them out one day. But sometimes it is hard not to be angry and hurt, and miss him so much that it is hard to function.
May God give me the strength to keep on keeping on,
Good night,
Judy

Well, the 2nd half of the year has begun

2010-07-01T23:08:00.004-05:00

Hello again. Well, today is the beginning of the second half of this year. It doesn't seem like the year is half over already, but it is. I started walking today, I made it about 20 minutes around, and around, and around the Christian Service Center. I plugged my ipod in and put the earphones on and listened to some good Gospel Music, and walked and sang. It is the beginning, and I am going to try to keep it up, 5 days a week, from now on and try to get myself into shape.

I heard from my stepson and his fiancee tonight and found out that they are coming up this weekend. I get to see my grandson, and Amber and Bobby and I am looking forward to it. I wish I could see them more often, but at least we do see them when they get to come up.

Well, I am going to bed as it is getting late here.
God Bless,
Judy

Just another day.

2010-06-30T15:14:00.003-05:00

Well, today is just another day. I have scrubbed my tub and toilet, and other than that not much. I have decided that I am going to start walking or something again, even if I can't get anyone to go with me. I have to get into better shape, and if I have to I will go by myself, even if I hate going it alone. Sometimes that is how we have to get through some things is alone, but if you really think about it, as Christians we are never alone, because God is always with us if we let him into our hearts and lives. So, starting tomorrow, before or after the work night, I plan on walking at the CSC for at least 20 minutes. So if you are in town, come on by and walk with me.
Tonight we have Church, and I don't exercise on Wednesdays or Sundays.

Well, until next time,
May God be with you all,
Judy

You learn something about yourself every day if you listen.

2010-06-28T12:10:00.003-05:00

Well, I learned something about myself this weekend. My washing machine had quit on me, wasn't working correctly. My husband went and got me another one, basically within 24 hours. I couldn't believe how happy I was just to get a new washer that worked. I was so excited that I washed the first load, then swapped that load into the dryer, set the dryer, and emptied the lint trap, then proceeded to wash the 2nd load. So after a while, I went to check the loads and realised that the dryer wasn't running so I opened the door to fold the clothes. Guess what I forgot to do in the excitement of putting that 2nd load in the washer. Yes, I forgot to push the button to start the dryer. LOL. I thought, "you are really getting to be an old woman now, you get so excited about a washer that you forget to start the dryer." How silly am I? I guess we all know now. But I now have caught up on my laundry, I have the last regular load in the wash, and the dryer running. After that all I have is a small load of delicates, B.J.'s dresses, and I will be done. So, what I learned about myself through this process is that I am a more mature woman than I thought. As a young woman, I never thought I would be excited about having a new washing machine. I never thought I would be that "domesticated". Now I just realise that I am a domesticated woman, who is happy with the regular things, and that I don't have to have the extras. Yes, the extras are great, and fun, and such, but the important things are not the extras, but the normal, regular stuff that helps to keep the family happy, healthy, and together, even if it is just a washing machine.
God has Blessed me with so much,
Have a great day,
Judy

Good morning!

2010-06-27T07:49:00.003-05:00

Well, it is Sunday morning and I sit here waiting until time for church, enjoying a little computer time while my hubby sleeps, and B.J. does her final preparations for church camp. She leaves shortly after church for Mid-South Youth Camp for the week. Can you say vacation for the both of us. I love her dearly, but she is a teen girl with attitude that is for sure.

Thursday was great, we had a few extra people at the work night that we are doing to get the clothes ready for sending to KY. We actually got a lot of stuff done, and had a lot of laughs as well. I enjoy doing stuff like this, but to be honest, I will be glad when we get this project done for this year! We have been working on it for almost a month now, and still have a couple nights to go at least.

I will be calling the foot Dr. tomorrow, as he took me off one of my meds for my neuropathy for my feet, and now I can't sleep for the pain every night, and it is getting worse. I have been off the one med for a week and a half, and I only got about 2 hours sleep last night because I couldn't get my feet to quit hurting enough to sleep. I don't know if he will up the meds I am still on, or if he will add the other back, or what, but something has to be done. My feet are hurting 24/7 now, and I can't take much more. I walk around almost in tears sometimes from it.

We also found out that our washer is about dead. It will run water until it over flows and won't agitate, but if you stop the cycle and advance it to the spin cycle it will spin out real well. The only problem with that is the clothes don't get clean that way, so, I guess it is time for a new one. That one has been around for quite a while, may it rest in peace! HAHA! It has been used that is for sure!

Well, I am off of here for a while.
Have a great day and God Bless,
Judy

Hello Again.

2010-06-23T16:38:00.002-05:00

Hello again, things are going okay here. I am still waiting to get into school, that is frustrating to say the least. But the Lord will provide when the time is right. B.J. is annoying as usual, but will be going to church camp soon, so I will have a week to myself. Other than that I am just trying to keep myself busy and doing things for others. The main thing right now is getting things ready to send to Meniffee County (sp?), as one of Lomax Church of Christ's missions is supporting a church there. We collect clothes as such to send up there for them to pass out to those who need it. I am helping to get the clothes sorted and boxed and ready to be taken up to Kentucky. It gives me something meaningful to do 2 nights a week, and it makes me feel good to help in this way. It isn't easy work, but it isn't hard either, just long and tedious work.

My grandson is living in Mobile, Alabama now and I miss him and his parents a lot. I hope they can come up again soon. It is a 6 to 8 hour drive down there, and we just can't afford it right now. But one day I hope to go see him there, I am just going to have to be patient I guess.

Well, that is about it right now. Have a great day,
Judy

Wow, It has been a while!

2010-06-07T09:53:00.002-05:00

Well, it has been a while since I have posted. I will not go through the many reasons why I haven't, there are too many ups and downs since the last post. But I am still around, still going day by day, and still trusting God, and the fact that he is in control and has a plan for me and my life.

B.J. has her drivers license and goes out with friends on occasion. She went with friends to the movies Saturday, and had a good time. Yes, she still gives me some teenage drama, but not as bad as my other kids did. She likes to push the boundaries on occasion, but that is what teens do, or at least in my experience they do. She is still an honor student, and has been accepted into the National Beta Club. I don't know where she gets her smarts so to speak, but she is a very smart young lady, and I know she will do something in her future. Right now she is thinking something in the animal medicine field.

My grandson and his parents got to come up from Alabama over Memorial Day Weekend. I loved seeing them all. I just wish I could see them more often so that I could spoil him a little. HAHAHA! I miss them.

I am still waiting for the school to call, and am beginning to get frustrated with having to wait. I just pray that I get in soon. I am ready to do something to do with my life. After all, I have been a stay at home mom now for over 23 years, I need to make a life for me. I need to do more than just stay at home and be mom, something that is mine so to speak. A job that would help us financially, and maybe be able to get a nest egg built up, and go on trips and such. That is what I am looking for in my life.

It has been 3+ years since my young man earned his angel wings, and I still miss him as if it was just yesterday. Some days I don't know how I get through, I just try to keep busy doing something, and keep the good moments in my heart. I was getting my video camera ready, and checking my cassettes for it, and found the one from when I got the video camera for Christmas. It was John's last Christmas, when we were in Vanderbilt. It rocked me to my core, and I am still struggling to not let it get me down to far. He was having fun going through all his new DS games, and so was B.J. and they wouldn't even look at the camera much, but he was in it. It was hard for me, as you can probably tell. I don't think that many people really realise just how hard a time that I still have with all of this. Not even my family. I don't let people see me down like this, for fear that they will feel uncomfortable and shy away from me more that a lot of them already have. I feel as if I have to be happy all the time when people are around, or if I am out around other people. But anyway, life goes on.

Well I guess I will go for now, got some housework to do, not that I enjoy it at all.
Hope all out in blog land has a great day,
Till next time,
Judy

Hello again!

2009-11-20T13:02:00.001-06:00

Well, hello again. It has been a while since I posted, and part of that is because I was sitting with an elderly lady and I didn’t have much time for being on the computer. But now I am at home again, so I thought I would let you all know that I am still alive and doing well. It is so hard for me to believe that the year is almost over, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, with Christmas coming soon. I am thankful that my family is healthy, and that we are all doing pretty good. I still haven’t started school yet, but I pray that I soon will be in school so that I can get a decent job with benefits, God willing of course. B.J. is still doing well in school, she is in the 10th grade and taking drivers education. It seems like she is to young for that, but she is growing into a young lady, and though I am very proud of her, I still miss the young child she was. It still makes me sad to think that all the stuff she is accomplishing, John will not get to experience. I miss him so much, especially this time of year. He so loved getting together with the family at Thanksgiving and Christmas, as well as other times. I miss seeing the sparkle in his eyes, and the mischievousness too. I wonder if he would be starting to be interested in girls, and what “type” of girl he would like. I guess you could say that I just ache for him sometimes.

Becky has passed the first of 2 tests required to get her state license in Cosmetology, and I am very proud of her. She is now living with her future in-laws, and they are working on the small house that they are building to start their lives together.

Brad is back with his wife, still struggling with finding a job, and getting his life back together. I just pray that he will find his way back to God and the church. I feel he would be better able to cope and all if he would put God first in his life. I know it has helped me a lot.

I am still reading my Bible every night. If I am able to keep my schedule up, I will read the Bible in one year. All Books, chapters, and verses, and yes I am a bit proud of this accomplishment. It is the first time I have read the entire Bible. And now it just doesn’t seem like the end of the day and time to sleep until I have taken the time to read from God’s word. I always feel more at peace after reading the Bible. There was once a time when I didn’t think that reading the Bible would help me in any way, but now I know the truth, IT DOES!

Well, I guess I had better get some more work done around this house, so I will go for now. May God bless you all!

Judy

Hello again

2009-10-25T12:26:00.001-05:00

Well, Hello again. I am sorry I haven’t posted much lately, I guess it is because I haven’t been having much to post. I mainly sit with an elderly friend all day. In my spare time, not that there is much of that, I am crocheting some bookmarks for our Ladies Day event at Church, and also making earrings. If I can find someone to wear them so that I can take some pictures of them I will post them so that you can see some of them. Other than that there isn’t much to put on here. Oh, one bit of information, my oldest son is back in Tennessee. He and his wife have decided to give it another try, they are living in Columbia now. I hope they both grow up and make better decisions and make it work. I pray that they will try to find a church that they like and start to study their Bible again. I think that will help them more than anything. The Bible has all the answers that we need to make a good life for ourselves in God’s eyes. We don’t need a lot of money, or “things”, we just need Faith, Love, and the desire to follow God’s will. That way we will be headed in the right direction. That is not to say that there won’t be hard times, and very difficult decisions and stuff in the future, but it will give us all the strength to get through our paths in live. I know that since I have rededicated myself to the Lord and His will, even the hard times don’t seem as hard. So, my suggestion to everyone is to put their faith in God and let him guide your lives! He is always with us and will never forsake us! God is who we all need to depend on!

May He bless us all,

Judy

Just a little update!

2009-09-21T15:25:00.001-05:00

Hello, I just thought I would do a little update. Things are going okay here, just getting through one day at a time and trying to not get to down. I do have a little good news to post. My oldest daughter is engaged, and I like her fiancée! His name is Matthew Sage Alsup, and he is a real nice guy. His family is great too, I like them all. He got his whole family together and me too, and asked her to marry him in front of the bonfire that we were all sitting around and it was just so sweet. Everyone knew what was going to happen except Becky, though I think she had her suspicions. They are planning for October 31, 2010, yes that will be Halloween. They both love Halloween and going to costume parties and stuff, so their reception might even be a costume party. It will be wonderful no matter what. It does my heart good to see her so happy. It has been a while since I have seen her smile so much! I will try to post some pictures I took of them soon.

Friday will be hard for me, so please be praying for me to have the strength to deal with it and keep on keeping on. It would have been John’s 14TH birthday had he not passed away. I find myself wondering what his interests would be and how he would be doing in school and stuff. It is hard sometimes to see kids that he would be in school with, or that he called his friends. Love you kids and let them know how much you care while you can, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. You never know if you will be able to tell them tomorrow or the next day, so don’t put it off until some other time.

Well, that about does it for now,

May God bless you all!

Judy

Okay, so it has been a while. Sorry :-(

2009-09-08T13:04:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I have been a bad girl and not updated my blog in a while. I am sorry if I worried anyone, I just don’t like this time of year much and I didn’t want to complain and be whinny. So, what has been going on. Let’s start with the bathroom. The bathroom is almost done. My husband just has to build the vanity for the sink and get it installed and it will be done. Here are some pictures of how it looks so far.

This is the makeup vanity that used to be my Grandmothers, and the tub/shower. What do you think of the color of the walls?

This shot doesn’t need any explaining but it really shows the floor and wall color.

And this is the beautiful linen cupboard that my husband built for the bathroom. He is so talented, at least I think so. My husband and his friend did the whole remodel and I am loving it.

Other than this, it has been about the same. The only excitement is that B.J. now has her drivers permit, and is learning to drive. Can we say more gray hairs are coming? I am proud of her, but it is scary too. My baby is growing up.

September is a hard month for me to say the least. John would have been 14 this month, on the 25TH. I keep looking at kids at church that are about his age and wonder exactly what John would be like and what he would be doing had he lived through his FA and BMT. I know he is in a better place, but that still doesn’t fill the empty place in my heart. I miss him so much.

So that about does it for this post, I hope all is well with everyone out there in blog land.

May God bless you each and everyone,

Judy

Well lets get caught up shall we?

2009-07-30T22:13:00.001-05:00

Okay, let’s see, About a month ago I started having some real bad allergy flare ups, causing me to have to go to the doctor. He said that it was just allergy drainage that was trying to get my asthma flaring up too. He gave me some antibiotics, and then I would get better for a few days then it would hit me again. After the second trip to the doctor, I told my husband that there was a water leak somewhere in the bathroom, and that if that wasn’t fixed, than I would probably not get better because I am very allergic to mold and mildew, and I noticed a small patch of it on the wall. So he and a friend of ours looked into it. Well, let me tell you, it ended up being a bigger deal than we thought it would be. Both bathrooms, which used to be back to back, had rotten spots in the floors, plus the leak must have been there a while because there was black mold starting to grow in the wall separating the 2 bathrooms. So we ended up having to gut both of them and decided to just make it into one big bathroom. So while we were without plumbing in the bathroom, I had to stay at my mom and dad’s house, Thank God I had them to fall back on! We thought it would just be for a few days until we could get the basic necessities back in. HAHAHA! We ended up staying at my parents for 2 whole weeks. But thank goodness, we were able to come back home Tuesday, and man I have been cleaning house every since. Remodeling is not a clean business, let me tell you. My floors were a mess, but I have gotten them clean now. Now all I have to do is”Spring Clean” the kitchen and living room, and then I can really clean my craft room. Yes, I have a lot of work left to do. But all that is left in the bathroom is the finish work, and the vanity/sink , and the cabinet for the towel and toiletries. So, that about does it for now. Oh, in case I didn’t mention it in June, my youngest daughter, B.J., got baptized while she was at church camp. I am so proud of her!

Well, until next post, may God bless us all!

Judy

Still at my parents

2009-07-16T20:23:00.002-05:00

I am still at my parents house, and my bathrooms have been gutted completely and have been sprayed with bleach to kill the mold and stuff so it won't come back. Tomorrow they plan to start to put the floor back in, and after that take the ceiling down and start the rewire job. It looks like we will be here until sometime mid next week. It is hard, I feel like I am imposing on my parents. They aren't even letting me buy some of the food, so I try to do all the cooking and cleaning of the dishes, or at least most of it. My parents will be going on their 2 week vacation Saturday, so after that I won't feel so bad because I will be using our food instead of theirs. I hope they have a great, and safe trip. They will be on their motorcycle, and driving up into Canada, and going all the way to Washington State, around where my sister and I were born. My dad was in the Navy, so we lived in quite a few states. So that about does it for now. I am blessed to have such wonderful parents who are there to help when we need them. I thank God for them every day, and thank them for being my parents and being such good ones often. God has blessed me in lots of ways.
May God continue to bless us all,
Judy

Well, we think we found the problem with my allergies!

2009-07-14T20:52:00.002-05:00

Hello all, we think we found the problem with my allergies. We had a water leak that was worse than we thought, both my bathrooms had to be completely gutted, and redone due to mold and water damage. We are going to go ahead and do one large bathroom. I won't be online much because of having to leave the house so until later.
God Bless,
Judy

Sorry it has been so long.

2009-07-06T20:40:00.001-05:00

I am so sorry it has been so long. Things have been a little hectic here. Let’s see, since the last time I posted, B.J. went to church camp from Sunday, June 21st until the 26th. I got a call Thursday the 25th, and it was the camp supervisor. He was calling to let me know that my daughter had responded to the invitation, and decided to be baptized into Christ’s Church. Can you say,”Proud Mom?” Yes I was, I didn’t sleep hardly at all that night. Then the next Wednesday, last week, I had to take her to the doctors. She had a sinus infection making her asthma and bronchitis flare up. UGG! So she was sleeping in my room, getting better, then Friday, I started feeling yucky. Sinuses draining and just feeling tired. By Sunday I was at the doctors getting a Rocephine shot, a Depomedrol shot, Xopenex breathing treatment as well as Pulmicort treatment. The doctor said that it was Asthmatic Bronchitis triggered by Allergy drainage. UGGG again!!!!!!! So I am still feeling yucky, taking Keflex and Tylenol with Codeine cough syrup, and groggy most of the day. My sinuses are still trying to stay stuffy too, so I am just praying that all the meds work so that I will feel better real soon. Other than that things are about the same, just waiting until September so that I can go to school. The sooner I start, the sooner I can graduate and get a good job with benefits (hopefully). So that is about it for now.

God Bless,

Judy

Why?

2009-06-17T17:15:00.001-05:00

Why do children have to go through so much? Why does Cancer and other horrid diseases have to take their little bodies and reek havoc on them? Yes, as you can tell, I am in a down mood today. I found out today that one of the friends I met while at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital with John is in the fight for his life once again. He has neuroblastoma, he was in remission for about 2 to 3 years and found out today that it is back. It is in his head this time. The sad part is that his mom was told today that they have limited options. They are going to give him chemo for 4 months in hopes of getting him in remission again, and if they are successful, they will then send him to Philadelphia or New York for a chance at other treatments, because they have no more options here. He is only about 10 or so and this is his 3rd bout with this type of cancer. It saddens me more than I can comprehend, I am struggling. I know that God has a plan, and that no matter what, things will go the way He wishes them to go. I just don’t want another mother to feel the loss that I battle every day. I wouldn’t wish something like this on my worst enemy so to speak. AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! May God bless his family and save him, that is my prayer for today!

Judy

Hello all, just a little update.

2009-06-09T16:44:00.001-05:00

Hello all. I hope all is well with you. I have been busy lately, I helped my sister-in-law, June, get a party together to celebrate the 80th birthday for my Mother-in-Law, as well as my in-laws 45th wedding anniversary. We had a pretty good turn out, and everyone seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. I got to see my grandson too, that is always a plus! He is 4 months old now, and is cooing and starting to vocalize. Other than that things are the same around here, not much happening. I am looking forward to September, as I hope I start tech school then. Wish me luck. It is a one year course, and I hope to do well enough to get a decent job so that I can help support our family. Here is a cute shot of my husband and Little Mikey, aren’t they cute?

And here is a cute shot of Little Mikey! He definitely has the Smith chin! I just love him so much!

May God bless us all,

Judy

Hello all!

2009-06-01T20:27:00.002-05:00

Hello all, things are about the same here. Sitting with a friends mother four hours a day, Monday through Friday, as well as watching the little boy I have been watching for a while, on Friday, Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday. Basically, Sunday is my only down time, and this Sunday isn't even that because the boys mother has inventory and has to work, so I will have him an extra day. So, needless to say, I am staying pretty busy. B.J. is now on Summer vacation, and driving me crazy. She has definitely reached the "Teen Years", and the attitude problem is rearing it's ugly head. But we are dealing with it as best as we can.

My health has been okay, having problems with allergies, and my sugar seems to be going to low more often lately. I don't know why, unless it is because my body is fighting off something, and using up more sugar than normal, causing it to drop suddenly. It got to about 81 today, and I started getting light headed, as well as shaky, so I had to use one of my glucose tablets until I could get home and eat something. Oh well, if it keeps up, I may have to go to the doctors and have my medications adjusted.

Everyone else is doing well, and taking life one day at a time.
May God bless us all,
Judy

A sad time.

2009-05-27T20:13:00.002-05:00

Hello, it is a sad time in the FAmily. Another young child is fighting a battle for her life. Her site is http://diannasjourney.blogspot.com/ , in case you want to go and let her family know you are praying for her. She had her BMT, and is now having a lot of trouble. The doctors are saying there is not much more they can do for her, that her lungs are failing (she is on a respirator), her kidneys are failing, and now her heart and liver are showing signs of failing. Please pray for her, as well as her family. I have been in their shoes, and it is not a good place to be. IT SUCKS! It seems to be going exactly like John's did. The lungs, then kidneys, and the heart and liver were failing when we stopped life support. It is breaking my heart that another family is going through things a lot like what I went through. Please Lord, heal this child!
Praying

Wow, it has been a while!

2009-05-19T13:40:00.003-05:00

Sorry it has been so long since I posted. I have been helping a friend by sitting with her mom for the last week and a half, plus watching a 4 year old 4 to 5 days a week. It has been pretty busy, and I haven't been online much. This past weekend I went to Chattanooga, TN with my sister. She and my brother funded the trip, We left home early Saturday morning, visited the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga, and we stayed at the Chattanooga Choo-Choo hotel that night. Then Sunday morning we got up and drove down to Alabama to see my Aunt, and Cousins and their children. I remember those days of having a bunch of kids all under the age of 11. We rolled into town around 9pm that night. Yesterday I felt like I needed a vacation from my vacation! HA! It was so much fun. I took about 192 pictures while there, a lot of the animals and fish, but also a couple of family. The only thing that would have made it better was if B.J. would have agreed to have the group picture taken so that all 4 of us could be in a picture together, but she is at the stage that she just doesn't like her picture being taken much at all, and I do good to get a shot of her here and there. We ate at Cracker Barrel for Breakfast Saturday, then we had snacks for lunch, then we ate at Olive Garden for supper, and man, I do believe that it was some of the best Italian cuisine that I have ever had. I was so full, that I couldn't eat it all. Then we had Waffle house for breakfast Sunday, and then we ate lunch at my aunt's house. Then my wonderful husband, who stayed home and worked, had soup ready when I got home. It is a weekend that I will remember and cherish for a very long time. I have such great siblings, who don't have any children, and wanted to give me and my girls a good weekend away! I am so blessed!
I pray you all are blessed as well as I fell.
With love,
Judy

Hello

2009-05-09T11:16:00.002-05:00

Well, hello again. It has been a little while but there really hasn't been to much to post. The only happenings besides regular daily things is my birthday which was on the 7Th. I turned 45 years old, and my loving husband gave me the best card with a note inside it plus a great present. It was a Polaroid digital picture frame. I have been uploading some pictures on it and it has made me a little melancholy, with all the pictures of John before and during his treatment as well as my other children. Pictures of my oldest son during his wedding, which are hard to look at because he is in the middle of a divorce. Pictures of my girls growing into such wonderful young ladies, at least they are wonderful most of the time. Of course they are still young enough to give me grief sometimes, but they are such treasures. But the hardest part is the memories of John during treatment. I still miss him SO much, and I wish I could have more pictures. It just saddens me sometimes to think as I continue to collect my pictures of family and friends I won't have new ones of John. That really hurts, the thought of more and more pictures of the rest of us, but only having the ones I have right now of John. I know, I am babbling, but I just can't put into words exactly how it feels. Proud for the rest of my family, but sadness about John. It just drives me a little batty sometimes. Tomorrow is mothers day, and though I will see my other 3 children during the day tomorrow, John will just be in my heart and memories. I long to see him as a 13 year old young man, becoming a teen, starting to like the girls and all that, but I will never get to see him in those stages. I sometimes find myself thinking what if. What if I had made different decisions with his medical care, what if I had not decided to turn off life support when I did, and all kinds of other what ifs. I know in my heart that I made the choices I had to, but sometimes my head just wonders if the outcome would have been different if I had made different decisions. I know that all this is normal, the feelings I am feeling are "a part of the grieving" but sometimes it is just so hard. I look forward to going to school in September not only because it is something that I want to do, but because then I won't have as much time to think about the what ifs. Oh well, now you all know that I am not in as much control of the emotions as it seems in person.

The rest of my birthday was great, the Russian class that I have been going to at the church sang "Happy Birthday" to me in Russian, which was so great. And so many friends and family sent cards, or posts on my facebook page. I am so blessed to have such great friends, family and brothers and sisters in Christ. God has blessed me in so many ways. My husband, my children, my family, and my friends. What else does one really need anyway? God will provide what we need, the extras are just more blessings and are great, but I have come to realize that the best blessings are our God, our Family and our Friends. As long as we have God, the rest will be taken care of.

Thankful for Gods blessings,
Judy

Just a little rambling!

2009-05-01T10:41:00.002-05:00

I got so tickled at B.J. the last couple days. She hates to be bragged on, and said that if bragging was a sport, I would be ready for the Olympics. HA HA! Too funny! If I start to tell someone I haven't talked to lately, she goes starts in with, "Oh great, here we go again." She is so modest sometimes. Gotta love her.

My son will be moving in soon, until he can find a place of his own. Him and his wife are splitting up, and getting a divorce. I hate that he has to go through something like this, but I knew in my heart that this would happen when they got married. I knew they were rushing it, were too young, and not ready yet, but they were "adults" at least in the age, but not maturity, and wouldn't listen to the advice that almost everybody was trying to give them. I just pray I can help him find his way back to God, and get him to go to church and put God first.

Other than that, things are the same here. I will be going to school in September from the looks of things. There is a long list of people waiting for a spot in the day class for the class that I am taking, so there would have to be a lot of people dropping the class for me to go any sooner than that. But that is okay, I can wait until then. I am looking forward to it though, and I am anxious to get started so that I can get look forward to graduating and getting a good job and such.

Russian class was so much fun last night. It always is! We are still going 2 nights a week, and the couple that is teaching us will be in until the 11Th or so of this month, so we will get a couple more classes in before they leave for Russia to get back to their mission work. I will miss it while they are gone, but I have to try to keep studying so when they get back we can pick up where we stop, and not have to review to much.

Well that about does it for now, I will post again some other time.
Until then, God Bless,
Judy

I am a proud mom today!

2009-04-28T15:49:00.003-05:00

B.J. came home from school today with a certificate for making top 5 in her graduating class. She is 3rd in her class, and I am SOOOO proud of her. I wasn't even close to top 10, so I am very happy for her and hope she continues to keep such good grades and things so that when she graduates in 2012, that she can get enough scholarships for college. Man I am just overflowing with happiness, it is unreal.

I am worried about my son Brad. He and his wife are headed toward a divorce. They have been married for 2 and a half years, and have decided that they are not happy with each other. I am not sure how I feel about it all. I wish they would seek some counseling, or something first. Maybe even a separation first, to see if they could work it out. But I don't think that is going to happen. But it is their lives, so all I can do is support him as best as I can.

Well, that is about it for now, so I will go. Got to get ready for Russian class. I will post again sometime later.

God bless,
Judy

Hello again

2009-04-22T15:07:00.000-05:00

Hello again! Just a little note to let every one know that I am still around. I am going to be going to the tech school probably tomorrow to see if I can find out if I am going to school in May or September. I am getting anxious to start school, and also a little afraid of starting. The sooner I find out, and can start planning and actually start going the better I will feel, I think anyway.

I have been doing the same things. Mainly sitting around the house, but also participating in a Russian Class at the church. The Missionaries that the church sponsors in Russia has to come home for 3 months. Russian laws have changed to where missionaries have to spend 3 months out of Russia, for every 3 months in the Russia. Our church also participates in the Lad's to Leaders/Leaderettes program, and they have a second language program, so the Pfaffs are now teaching us Russian Bible verses and some things that if we were to ever meet a person from Russia, we could at least help them or understand what they need a little better. I may never use the knowledge that I am attaining, but I am enjoying it very much. I don't have anyone to study with after classes, but hey, I am still giving it my best and enjoying the time in class, and with the teens that I am taking the class with. They are doing so well, and I am very proud of them.

Well, tonight I have church, so I had better get the roast on and get some stuff done around here so that we won't be overwhelmed trying to get it all done before church or after we get home. Take care and God bless,

Judy

Hello all.

2009-04-20T12:27:00.002-05:00

Well, it has been a little while, but things are okay here. The Ronald McDonald house telethon was Saturday, and it was good. My husband and I did cry during the clip that I taped. They edited parts of the last telethon that John and I did, and it even had his voice on it. When we heard his voice, that just about did us in. But it was good, and I hope that it help to raise money for the RMH. That was my reason for doing it, to try to inspire people to donate to this great place.

Other than that I am just waiting to find out when I start school. If there is an opening during the summer trimester, I will start May 4Th, but if there isn't an opening, it will be September 1st. I am hoping for May, the sooner I get in, the sooner I will graduate and hopefully get a good job with decent benefits. A start at a more financially stable future for me and my family, that is my goal. Plus getting a job, or career, that I can enjoy, be proud of, and that will allow us to get some things we want, not just what we need. I wish I would have thought of all this stuff when I was younger, but I wouldn't change a thing because that would change my family, and kids, and I don't want that.

Well that is about it for now, May God bless us all.
Judy

2009-04-15T14:13:00.000-05:00

Well, today has been better than I expected. I am still a little emotional, but it is okay. I helped a friend this morning, she is a teacher and Tcaps (state mandated testing) are this week, so I went and helped her in her class. My "job" was to help keep the kids focused on the test. She only has 5 kids in her class during the testing, and I mainly helped one of them to stay focused on the test. After that, my mom and I went out and bought a flower arrangement for John's head stone and we visited the grave site for a while. My husband met us out there. I still try to keep busy so that I won't focus on the fact that I miss him.

Other than that, I haven't done to much. Tonight is Church, I look forward to the Wednesday night Ladies Bible class. We are learning about becoming more like Christ by studying the "B-attitudes" and it is a very interesting book. The ladies that attend the class are just wonderful ladies and I admire each and every one of them.

Well that about does it for now, I will post again some other time.
God bless you all,
Judy

Wow, it is so hard to believe.....

2009-04-14T13:59:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow, at around 12 o'clock in the afternoon, it will be 2 years since my son lost his battle with Fanconi Anemia, and complications from his bone marrow transplant. Two years since I had to make the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life, to stop life support. I find myself feeling more down and close to tears as the days count down. I still check on a lot of other kids that have FA and have gone through transplant, and made it, or haven't had their transplant yet, and most of the time I am glad to see that more and more of them are making it through the treatment. But then there are other times that I can't check on the ones that are doing well because I get to feeling jealous, wondering why my son had to die from it all. Why didn't he make it through? I know that God has taken him home to be in heaven, but the selfish part of me wants him back. I miss him as much as the day he died, and I think that I will always miss him so much that my heart actually aches from wanting him here with me. I sometimes wonder what he would be like now. He would be 13 years old now, a teenager. He would be almost through the 7Th grade. Would his voice be changing yet, or would he be starting to get facial hair. Would he be starting to notice the girls, and would he be so shy that he couldn't talk to them, or would he be confident enough to just go up to them and start talking to them. I see other kids his age doing some of these things and it makes me miss him even more. I just hope that with more time, I will be able to think about these things without getting so down and upset, with tears flowing down my face. Only time will tell.
May God bless us all,
Judy

2009-04-11T15:37:00.002-05:00

Well, things are going a little better here. I am dealing with the feelings better now. Other than the boy I baby sit still being just awful, and not minding, things are going a little smoother. I think it helped that Becky and I went out and had a good day away from home. We got back before she had to be in school, and we laughed so hard and for so long just being goofy, that I thought my cheeks would cramp up on me! It was so fun just goofing off and being silly for a while. I always heard that laughter is the best medicine, and I do believe that it is some pretty powerful stuff! HA! I recommend that everyone try it for a while, just be silly and goofy and laugh! See if it helps you like it did me.

Well, tomorrow is Easter Sunday here, and after Church we are going to my moms to have lunch together as a family. I am looking forward to it, that is for sure.

Well, that is about it for now, May God bless you all!
Judy

2009-04-07T14:39:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I really wish I could just go and find a cave to crawl into and hide! I am about aggravated with the 4 year old that I am watching today. He won't behave, he keeps trying to push my buttons and I am having a hard time not bending him over my knee and spanking him like he is my own kid. I really am getting angry with him. Thank goodness that I don't have him tomorrow!!!!!! I don't think I could handle it at all.

Other than that things are about the same, just trying to work through the feelings I get during this time of year. It is almost like a count down, but instead of it being a count down to something good, it is a countdown to a bad memory. The memory of loosing my little John, to the day that God called him home and away from me. The day my heart was shattered into a million pieces. For most Americans it is just known as tax day, the day that income tax returns are supposed to be done. But to me it is the 15TH, the day my son died. The closer that day gets, the more on edge I feel, the more agitated I get, and the more I just want to find that cave and hide forever. I know he is "in a better place", but that doesn't mean that it is any easier for me. It is just not right for a parent to have to bury their child.

God help me through this, please.
Judy

Hello again.

2009-04-03T19:51:00.002-05:00

Hello again. I know, it has been a while, but the only thing I can say is that Spring seems to be one of the hardest times for me. Mainly April, and of course September. I have been thinking about John a lot lately, and have been struggling a little with some depression. But I am managing it, with the help of a lot of friends shoulders to cry on. It is just so hard to believe that in 12 days it will be 2 years since my little boy died. I think it really hit home when I found out that a young lady at Church is expecting about that time. It is just hard. I miss him bringing me the daffodils and tulips that are bent over from my yard and giving them to me. I just see them in the yard and tears come to my eyes. I know, this is all normal, but it still hurts. To be honest, IT SUCKS!!!!!!!! He would be 13 now, an actual teenager, had he made it through his treatment. I know he is no longer hurting, and is healed in heaven, but my heart is still broken, and I sometimes wonder if it will ever be any better. I know I will always love him and miss him, but will it ever be easy to see other people that are the age he would be and not lose it in one way or another? Spring used to be one of my favorite seasons, now I just don't know how I feel about it. Spring to me used to be about things coming back to life, turning green and all, but now it reminds me of the death of my baby boy. Man this really sucks sometimes. God help me, my strength isn't to good right now.
Till next time,
May God bless us all,
Judy

Wow

2009-03-21T16:59:00.002-05:00

Well, wow just about sums it up. We had over 600 attendees at our youth rally this year. It felt so good to help with the Lords work, and working with the registration team. My mom and I worked the numbers after each group got signed in, mom would count the numbers in each age group, and then the totals, and I input it into the spreed sheet so that we would know how many were there after every group. We did it this way for the first time this year, so that the kitchen team would know how many they needed to prepare for for the snack times last night as well as for all the meals and snack times today. In previous years, the total wouldn't be tallied until the end of the registration process and it was all added by hand. This way, we tallied each group as they came in, and the computer did the tally for us. SO MUCH EASIER!!!!!!!!! We are planning on doing it this way again next year. I got to listen to a little of the singing and devotions off and on, as they had a live feed to our christian service center. God has blessed our church to be able to do the youth rally every year for 13 years now. There have been members of our church who would be visiting other churches in surrounding states, as well as in Tennessee, who said that when he mentioned where they attended Church, the other people would know that it was the Church that has the youth rally every year. It is known about now in about 5 states. I just think that is the coolest thing. We have churches that plan on coming every year, they plan it as a normal activity in their churches youth groups. I just can't express how exciting it is, and how full of the Lords love I feel after being a part of it all. I know, I am babbling a bit, but I am just so upbeat about it all, as well as blown away by it all.
Well, I pray you all are as blessed as I feel!
With Loads of Love,
Judy

Busy days!

2009-03-18T14:08:00.003-05:00

Well, it has been busy around here. I have been helping the Church with the registration part of our upcoming youth rally, plus baby sitting, and the normal stuff around the house. I am enjoying it, but it doesn't allow much blogging time that is for sure. I guess it will be like this when I start to school too, but I will still be online when I can and update when I can as well. Our youth rally is this weekend, Friday and Saturday. I won't be able to go on Saturday, due to baby sitting, but I will be up there helping the churches that are coming to get registered and keep a count of how many we have as they come in for the ladies that are working in the kitchen so they can be prepared. I am fixing to go in and get my cookie dough ready so that I can get the 2 dozen cookies done to take up there too. We all do our parts to make it a good experience for the 7Th through the 12Th grades, so they can learn more about God and how he works in our lives, and how they can become closer to Him. It is our biggest event of the year, bringing in from 500 to 700 teens and adults. So there are a lot of us from our congregation that have been busy, busy, busy getting ready. We have to get their packets ready, which have name tags already printed for them and schedules on the back, plus wrist bands that are color coded for each grade (class) and they have the option to buy tee shirts with the theme for this year which is "Transform". The classes will be focused on transforming our lives to reflect God and His light in our lives. How great it is to be doing the Lords work, even if it is more of a background role in the process. My heart is so full of love for God and the work we are doing to bring more souls to him. I am just so excited!

I am also starting back to my Russian speaking class. I have missed it so much, but was able to be there last night, and it was so much fun. I may never use it besides at class and talking to the other people taking the class, but it is fun, and it really gets my brain working again. It takes studying and practice, and it isn't easy, but the couple that are teaching us are so patient and fun that it makes it so enjoyable, even if I do mess up (which I do often), that it is just fun. Thank you Adrianne and Erik for all you do for us and the youth of the church, you guys are an inspiration to many.

Well, I guess I will go for now.
Remember that God is always there for those who seek him,
Matthew 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
In Him,
Judy

RMH Telethon News

2009-03-11T22:08:00.003-05:00

Well, I had my taping session with channel 2 news for the RMH telethon today. It went well, yes tears fell, but it was all good. I found out that it is a tribute to John and that they will be using part of our interview from when he was still alive as well. I do not know how it will be, and how much editing they will do, but I do know that it will be on the telethon on April 18th, from 7 until 10pm, on Nashville, TN news channel 2. I hope you all that can watch will watch. If it is like the session today, you better have some tissue ready. Anyway, I just thought I would post and let you all know that even though it has been a very emotional couple days, it is all good, and I feel good about it all. I am very tired from it all so I am going to make this a short post and get in bed.
May God bless us all,
Judy

Nerves set in.

2009-03-10T16:26:00.003-05:00

Well, the nerves have set in, and I am a little out of sorts because of it. Tomorrow, I will be going to do a taping for RMH, and I have been gathering pictures of John for it. I wanted some before, during and towards the end of his treatment, and it has been very emotional to say the least to go through some of the pictures of our time in Nashville. Needless to say, it has been a very teary eyed day for me, and I have been sobbing quite a bit today going through my files to find pictures to take. I miss him so much, I just hope I can keep it together tomorrow during taping, so that maybe it will be helpful to their fundraiser. I am glad I am taking my oldest daughter Becky with me. I am so proud of her! She will be graduating from Cosmetology classes by the end of the summer trimester, and she is growing into a very nice young lady. Still has a wild side, but she gets that naturally.

Well, that is about all for now, I just don't feel like being online much right now. I am sure you can understand.
May God bless you all,
Judy

Hello all

2009-03-03T13:49:00.002-06:00

Well, hello all. I hope this post finds you all happy and healthy. It has been a rather weird couple of days. Sunday we woke up to about 5 inches or so of snow. It is supposed to be starting to warm up, but we are now colder than we have been for a while. The schools were closed yesterday, but it has melted off the roads well enough that they opened today. There is still snow on the ground were the sun doesn't hit it well. I took some pictures, but I haven't uploaded them, but it sure was a pretty winter wonderland. It was actually more snow than we have had all year here. I pray it is over though, I am ready for spring, and mild weather. So that the heat doesn't have to stay on, but we don't have to use the air conditioner either. I would like to have a decent electricity bill for a couple months. But it will be what it will be, God knows what he is doing, so I guess I will deal with it no matter what and try not to complain either.

Everyone here is doing okay, I am fighting off a slightly stuffy nose, but other than that I have been blessed to not have gotten really sick through the winter, and I pray that I can keep it all under control and not get sick for a while.

B.J. is doing well, she has been going to the park in town and walking and running on the track there, and as she said, "I am trying to get ready for bathing suit season." She isn't that big, just a little pudgy, but she is at the age that she is aware of her looks and health, and is trying to get "in shape" and I have to say I am proud of her for doing it the right way. She eats smaller portions, and exercises, and tries to limit her snacks. She isn't starving herself, or depriving herself, and I am very proud of her. I am nervous of course, she has started wearing some makeup, and stuff, I know the "boy" issue and dating will be next. She knows that she can't date until she is 16, but that isn't but about 10 months away. The scary years are upon us! HA! But she has a good head on her shoulders so I will just have to trust her, at least until she breaks that trust (if she does). I know quit rambling on, and let her have her fun while she is young. But it is scary for a mom in this day and age. There is way to much trouble that girls can get into. Oh well, one day at a time I guess.

My husband is doing okay. We are struggling financially, but he is doing his best, and there just isn't any jobs around here so I can't do much to help him. God will provide. I just have to trust that he will take care of it.

Well, I guess that is about it for now. Sorry about the rambling. May God bless you all.
Judy

I had a great evening!

2009-02-28T22:02:00.011-06:00

Well, I finally got to hold my grandson, Little Mikey. Bobby, my stepson, and his wife Amber and my other stepson Wilson came down and brought the baby so we could see him along with my in-laws. Here are a few shots. Here I am holding my precious little grandson. If you haven't figured it out, I have decided to call him Little Mikey. And he does seem little to me, compared to my children who were quite a bit bigger that he is.

This is my husband with Little Mikey. I just love this picture, and the two in it!

This one is four generations of Smith men. John Michael (Little Mikey) is the first great-grandson to carry the Smith last name.

Well, that is about it for now. I do have other pictures, but it is late and I want to get in bed, but I still have my daily Bible scriptures to read.

May God bless you all as he has me. I am a very happy Grandma tonight.

Judy

YEAH! I got my financial aid!

2009-02-26T12:33:00.002-06:00

I found out yesterday that I will be getting financial aid, and will be able to go to the technical school and take classes in Business systems. I am so excited, and at the same time a little scared. It has been over 26 years since I graduated High School. Now I have to get up and be at class at 7:45am, that is scary. But I will do it and get used to it eventually. Now I just have to wait until they have an opening in the class. It will probably be September before I get in, but if someone drops their class or doesn't show for class, I may get to go in May. Either way, I am on my way to school soon. I pray that when I graduate from the course, there will be some jobs out there and that I will be able to start to work. I have been a stay at home mom for over 16 years now, and about 1/4 of that was taking care of John. Now that B.J. is in high school, and doesn't need a "full time mom" it is time for me to do for myself. It is hard to believe that I have come so far, and that I have raised my kids to where they are. And now I get to think a little more about myself and the future with me working and helping to support our family. I really don't know how I feel about it all to be honest. It is going to be a big change, but I am looking forward to it, and looking forward to a different way of life, not just a mom and wife, but going after a career for myself. Man, this is wild, and exciting and scary all at the same time!
Until next time,
May God bless you all as he has me,
Judy

More excitement!

2009-02-20T21:08:00.002-06:00

Well, I got a call from my friends at the Ronald McDonald House (RMH) in Nashville, and they asked if I would be interested in taping a sections for their Telethon. John and I taped for them one year while we were there, and they thought I might like to help again. Of course, even though I do not like to speak in public, or on camera, I will do my best and be taped for a piece for their show. So on March 11Th, I will be going up and being taped. Excitement is only one emotion I am feeling, anxiety being another, but I will over come the nervousness and do it to help support such a great cause. Plus it is a great little incentive to go up and visit with the staff at RMH, and also with the Doctors and Nurses that tried so hard to help John make it through his BMT. So, is that exciting or what? Or what is my answer! Nervous, anxiety, scared half to death, that is what I will be feeling until it is over! HA! But God will help me I am sure.
Until next time,
God Bless,
Judy

Wish me luck!

2009-02-18T12:13:00.002-06:00

Well, I have been praying for God to let me know what he wants me to do with my life for a while now, and I have decided that I should go back to school so that I can get a good job, and not just work. I have applied to attend the local technical school to take Business Systems, which is training for administrative assistant. The course is a 1 year course (3 trimesters) and after I get done I will be able to apply for jobs that right now is not available to me even though I have some computer knowledge and clerical skills because I am not certified in the field. Now I have to see if I will be able to get a student grant or something to pay for it, I know I don't have the money to go without assistance. Please be praying for me to be able to do this. I know it is what I want to do, and I need to do something to better myself and enable me to help to provide for myself and my family.

The family is doing fine and they are supporting my decision to go back to school. I have the best family, at least for me. HA!

Well, that is about it for now,
God bless you all,
Judy

Hello My friends!!!

2009-02-12T17:16:00.004-06:00

Hello my friends, just a little post to let you all know that I am still here! Life is going good, and even though money is very tight, we are managing, and taking it all one day at a time. I have been busy, and not on line lately, so I thought I would post today so nobody would worry. I have been knitting of course, and helping friends, and just taking time for myself. Praying for God to let me know what he wants me to do. I am thinking about going to school and getting a higher education at the Vocational School, so I will be looking into that in the next day or the next week at least. And if I can't get some grants to help me do that, I will go and find a job somewhere. I don't care where, just some place that pays enough to get me to work and pay my bills will be fine with me. I am not that picky. But I really would like to go to school and take office management and some computer usage courses so that maybe I could get a job working in an office somewhere. Wish me luck, and please pray that the Lord guides me to do what he wants me to do.

I heard from my stepson and his family, the baby is doing well, and except for a small case of pink eye caused by his tear ducts not being opened yet, he is doing good. My stepson even said he loves us all, it has been a while since we heard that from him. It felt great!
Until next time,
May God bless us all,
Judy

Hello all!

2009-02-05T19:43:00.003-06:00

Hello all, things are well here, it has been a long day, as I have been driving my friends, Dinah and Mrs. Ethel, to doctors appointments. Dinah's was this morning, then we drove 33 miles back home, then Mrs. Ethel and I drove back to her appointment this afternoon. So, from 8:30am until 5:30 this evening I was driving or sitting at a doctors office helping my friends. I am tired, but it is rewarding to help friends, and it is a good tired.

I don't have any updates on my grandson, I have tried to call them and text them, but with no response. I knew that they would probably do this, as we haven't been close to my stepson for a long time, but it still hurts to know that my husband and I have a grandchild out there and will probably never really get to know him like we should. I just pray that some day my stepson and his wife will find the Lord, and that they will teach my grandson about God and His blessings. And that if they do find the Lord, that they will find it in their hearts to let us see our grandson. I do love him, even though I only got to see him for about 5 minutes, and didn't even get to hold him.

B.J. is doing well, and other than finances, things are going okay here. We don't know how long we will still have internet access, but even when we loose it, I will find a way to post every now and then.

God Bless you all, and remember to tell the ones you love that you love them, for you never know what tomorrow brings.
Judy

My grandson has arrived!!!!!!!!

2009-01-31T23:37:00.004-06:00

Welcome to the world John Michael Smith, born 1/31/2009 at approximately 9:00pm, 6 lb 8 oz., and 19 3/4 inches long. Mom and baby doing well and father is proud and trying to live down the fact that he cried like a baby when his son was born. His mom and dad are Amber and Bobby Howell Smith, John Michael is actually my step-grandson, but I just see him as my grandson, there is no reason to not let him have all the grandparents he can get. I will probably call him either JJ or little Mikey, but time will tell. I pray he has a long, healthy life filled with love, and as little heartache as possible. Yes, I love him already. Well, it is late and has been a very exciting day so I am off to bed. May God bless you all,
Judy

Today is and exciting day!

2009-01-31T12:32:00.002-06:00

I am so excited and anxious today, I got a message today that my stepson and his wife's baby is on it's way. I am going to be a grandmother! Her water broke this morning, and as soon as the boy I am babysitting goes home, my husband and I are going to the hospital to see the proud new parents and our first Grandson! I will post pictures as soon as I can as well as details on the baby.

The only this is, I think that B.J. is upset about it all. They chose the name that she had decided that she wanted to name her baby if she has a girl WAY in the future. She hasn't really said anything, but her facebook status hinted that she was sad about becoming an aunt, and I think part of that is because of the name issue and passed issues that the family had to deal with. I pray that if she needs to talk to me that she will, and not try to deal with it by herself. I pray that God will guide her through her emotions. That is the only down part of it all.

I have gotten through most of my bad feelings, and forgiven the past wrongs, though I haven't forgotten or regained the trust back, but I am dealing with it all a lot better, thanks to my Bible and my faith, and knowing that God expects us to forgive those who sin against us as he forgives our sins. I just pray my daughter can find that faith and strength to deal with it all.

But anyway, pray for a smooth delivery of a healthy new baby on this earth.
I am so excited!
Thanking the Lord for all the Blessings he has blessed me with today and every day!
Judy

Okay, here it is.

2009-01-24T14:32:00.004-06:00

Well, here it is, the picture of the baby sweater I made for my grandson, who is due in just a couple weeks now. The picture is a little dark, but it is a hoodie, and instead of buttons, I chose to crochet some strings to tie it with. A great friend of mine picked up some very small pompom makers for me, and that is what the little white spots are. I couldn't use the yarn that I used for the sweater because it was to heavy a yarn to make small pompoms out of. Not bad for my first one I ever made. I made 2 more since making this one, but I forgot to take pictures before I took them to the friend I made them for. She was so excited and happy with them, and she didn't want them for herself, she wanted them to give to her friends at their baby showers. I am so happy she liked them so much.

Other than more knitting and crocheting, I haven't done much except for the same old hum drum stuff called house work. I am baby sitting again today, and he is being so good I thought I would get online for a spell.

B.J. got her first High School report card this week (drum roll please)...............

She got all A's, they were 100, 98, 99, and 100!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of her. She now has 4 credits towards graduation. She is such a smart young lady, I don't know where she got it, I had to work hard for my grades and they were not that good, and her dad worked hard to just graduate. She is the smartest in our family, minus John, if he had made it he would have gave her a run for the highest grades, he also was a very smart young man. So, I am blessed to have such a smart and responsible young lady in the house. I let her go out with a couple girl friends last night, her first adventure out with just the girl friends and no chaperones. I was a nervous wreck! LOL! But she was good, we text a little before they went to bed, and she got home today before her appointed time, which was very good. I feel I can trust her more than her older siblings when they were her age. I also felt good that she came home and told me about what they did and some of the things they said. It reassures me that I am raising her right, and that she is growing up and learning to be a responsible young citizen. I thank God for her every day as well as my other children, and I also thank Him for guiding me in raising them.

My husbands dad is now home from the hospital, he had back surgery Wednesday, and is doing well. Sore of course, and can't do anything except for what the doctors told him to, but he is doing well, and so is my mother-in-law. I Praise God for that. He is 78 this year, so we were worried about how he would do.

My husband is doing well, trying to drum up some work of course, the life of a construction worker is hard sometimes. But with God on our side we will manage one way or the other. But he is doing okay, and like me just taking it all one day at a time.

Well, that is about all for now, May God Bless you and keep you all,

Judy

Hello Again

2009-01-23T10:49:00.002-06:00

Well, hello again! Things are okay here. I have been busy the last couple days. My father-in-law had back surgery on Wednesday, and my mother-in-law doesn't need to stay by herself at night, so I spent the last two nights with her just to keep her from worrying and to make sure she didn't fall or anything like that. The surgery went fine, and he should be home sometime today. I am babysitting today, so it is another busy day for me, but I can handle it. I forgot to take a picture of the sweaters that I made for a friend, so I will try to take one of the one I made for my grandson and post it soon.

Yesterday was my anniversary, my husband and I have been married for 16 years now. And I love him more with every passing day. We didn't get to spend to much time together with his father in the hospital, but we got to spend a little time together, and we talked on the phone a bit as well. I just pray the next 16 years are even better than the last 16 years have been, that would be almost too much happiness, but I can handle a lot of happiness! HA HA!
I love you Babe, in case you are reading this.

Well, it is off to fix lunch now. May God bless you all every day, and may you take time to realize all the blessings and thank Him for them.
Judy

Sinus Head Colds, YUCK!

2009-01-18T15:30:00.002-06:00

Well, we are still online, but I haven't been feeling to well the last couple days. I think I am trying to come down with a sinus head cold, Yuck! My head hurts, my nose is stuffy, and my ears are itching, and I just feel miserable! I stayed home from Church today so that if I am contagious, I won't spread it to my friends. I have still been knitting, a friend at Church asked me if I would do a couple of baby sweaters for her last Wednesday, so I have been working on them. I have one completed except for the buttons, and have started the other one as well. I hope she likes them, I am really liking this pattern. Got it online of course. I have some more patterns I downloaded and I am going to try them after I get these that I am working on done. I knit one for my stepson's baby that is due in just a matter of weeks. I am getting excited about it, I am going to be a grandmother, okay step-grandmother, but I don't care, I still consider the baby my grandson. I will try to get around to taking some pictures of the baby sweaters in the next day or so and upload them so that you all can see what they look like. Well, other than some regular work around the house, that about covers my week.
Take care and God bless,
Judy

Still around

2009-01-13T18:52:00.003-06:00

Well we are still around, there just isn't to much going on. I have been knitting, and the regular stuff around the house, and going to Church. But other than that I haven't been doing much exciting enough to post much. B.J. is going to school, and well, that is about it. She plays online, and does her chores, and stuff that teens do, but not much besides the norm. And my husband is still out there trying to find jobs and such to bring in money. So things are about the same. I am going to the preacher's house tomorrow to watch the twins while my good friends take their oldest to the doctor. She broke her arm a little over a week ago, and they can't put a cast on it yet until the swelling goes down, so they have to have the brace re-bandaged since she is only 4 and it is getting dirty which is to be expected. But I always have fun watching the twins, and look forward to it. They have so much energy and are very happy children, when they are not sick anyway, and I just love them so much, as I do the whole family. So, pretty hum-drum wouldn't you say? Just taking life one day at a time.
Until next post,
Remember to let your kids know how much you love them,
and may God bless you all,
Judy

We are still here.

2009-01-04T20:16:00.002-06:00

So far, we have kept the internet going, we will just have to take it one day at a time. I am okay with it all, finances are getting rough almost everywhere right now, but we will manage. I may be getting a job to help my husband make ends meet, that is if I can find one. There are not that many around here right now, but God will provide. So, on to how we are doing besides the financial stuff. I have completed the baby afghan that I knit for my stepson's first born son who is due in about 4 weeks or so. I still can't believe that I will be a grandmother soon, even if it is from my husbands first marriage, it is still my grandson too! I have also knit a bib, can you believe that, a bib that was knit. I found the pattern on the Internet, and had to try it. It wasn't perfect, but for a first try at the pattern and it being more advanced than I have ever tried, it turned out pretty good. I also finished a knit dish cloth. I have really enjoyed knitting lately, and even when I am interested in a television show, I will knit while I watch it. HA! My mom never thought I would be knitting! I wouldn't even try when I was young and she would try to teach me. I didn't have time to sit and do girl stuff, I was a tomboy through and through. That is until I had children of my own, and became a stay at home mom. You find that the "girl stuff" isn't to bad. I have also began a Bible reading program and I am reading every morning while I enjoy my breakfast. I got this one year seasonal Bible while I was in hospital with John during his treatment, and it has scripture from the Old Testament as well as the New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs for every day of the year so that when you get to the end you have read the entire Bible. That is one thing I have never been able to do is read through the whole Bible, but I am resolved to do it this year. Wish me luck and perseverance.

B.J. is still the teen aged Hermit that likes to stay in her room except to eat, use the bathroom, and go to Church and School. I did find out however that the reason she didn't want to go to the Convention with Lads to Leaders was because she didn't want to write and do her speech, she just wants to do song leading. I decided that instead of pushing her to hard, I would agree to the song leading only, especially since she is having to do without things here and I know that is hard for a teen to deal with, plus the fact that she works so hard at school and brings home real good grades on her report card, well, okay, I folded and decided to let her off the hook where the speech is concerned.

My husband is doing okay, worrying about us and the bills and such, which is normal for him, it is just worse now. He is such a hard worker, and it bothers him when he can't get enough work to sustain us. I try to let him know that I am okay and we can deal with not having extras, but he wants to give us everything and sometimes that is just not realistic. I pray for him every day. He said he wants me to wait until after convention in April to get a job, but that all depends on if he gets enough jobs to make it until then. See, he is a carpenter, and works on houses, building them or remodeling them, and work is slim this time of year on a regular basis, but with the recession and all here in the US, it is worse this year.

So that about does it for now, I will post when I can, and I have something to say, or gripe about, or just babble about (HAHA).
May God Bless you all,
Judy

Finances bad, and it bites

2009-01-02T10:55:00.002-06:00

Well, with finances bad, and my husband working in the carpentry, our financial situation is really bad right now. We have had to turn off our home phone, and the next thing will be Internet, so I may not be online for a while. I am okay with it, worried about how my daughter will deal with it, but she does need to learn the very valuable lesson of if you can't pay the extras then you just don't get it or keep it which ever applies. Money management is a good lesson for all kids. I worry about my husband also, he is so stressed about it all. So for now it is day to day for Internet access, and I may be out looking for a job to help my husband make ends meet. I will try to get over to my mom's computer from time to time to post and let my Internet friends know I am okay. God will provide, I do have faith in that, but the extras will just have to go for now.
Trusting in God fully,
Judy

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T13:06:00.002-06:00

Well, the new year has started, it is hard to believe it is 2009 already. The day has been beautiful so far. I woke up and cooked myself breakfast, my husband had already gone to work and B.J. was still in bed, and started reading my one year seasonal Bible. It has scripture for every day of the year, and for each day it has passages from the Old and New Testament and from Psalms and Proverbs. It is designed so that you can read the Bible in one year, and I am determined to read it this year. Then of course I started calling some of my friends and wishing them a new year as well. For those of you that I didn't call for whatever reason, I pray that you have a wonderful year, full of the Love of God, faith, family, friends and Happiness! I feel so blessed to be hear, and look forward to seeing what God has in store for me and my family.
Until next post,
May God bless us all!
Judy

2008-12-31T14:52:00.003-06:00

Well, it is the last day of the year here, and in about 9 hours a new year will begin. Another year to watch 3 of my four children grow, and another year to wonder what John would be like at age 13. Another year to explore life as a mom who only has one more living at home after having 4 to 6 kids in the house. Another year to live, another year to laugh, and another year to love. To find out what God has in store for us can sometimes be a scary thought, but then again, exciting, for with God, all things are possible. With God at our side, what is there to fear? For if we follow his word, the Bible, and confess our faith, and life in a manner that he wants us to, then we know that after death, it is life with him at his side with our family of Christians that has gone before us. I no longer fear what will come for me, for whatever it may be, if God saw me to it, he will bring me through it, in his way, in his time. And I have Faith that He knows what he is doing.
So, may you all have a very Happy New Year, and may your life be filled with love, but mostly with the Love of God!
Love always,
Judy

Fun Times

2008-12-27T19:51:00.002-06:00

Well, let me tell you about the cake B.J. and her friends made tonight. They decided that they wanted to make a cake from scratch for B.J.'s birthday, I think I mentioned something about it in the last post, but anyway, they were just to noisy and hyper for me, so I showed them where everything was and let them have at it. Well, as the "cake" was finishing up in the oven, I went to begin making supper, and noticed that almost all my kosher salt was gone. I asked them if they spilled it, and B.J. said that she didn't think so, that the last time she noticed the lid was on it. So I asked one of her friends about it, and well to make a long story short, instead of sugar, the cake had 1 3/4 cups of coarse Kosher salt in it. We had a good laugh about it, and we threw it into the woods for the local deer, and we are now calling it "Salt Lick Cake for deer", HA HA HA! Sometimes it is just to fun to have teen girls in the house, I loved it!!!!!
May all your kids make you smile and laugh, I am so blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Judy

Were does the time go!

2008-12-27T16:03:00.003-06:00

Well, it is Saturday afternoon here, 2 days after Christmas and 1 day before my little girl turns 15 years old. Were does the time go? It seems like it was just a little while back that she was born, so petite, but weighing in at 7 lb 15 3/4 ounces. She didn't look like she should weigh that much but she did. Now she is 15, one more year before the "Sweet 16" and wanting to know why she can't date like her friends do already, starting to wear makeup, and finding her own style. She is into the "emo" look, but she doesn't like the stigma it brings. People think that it means she is cutting herself and that kind of stuff, but she just likes the look, and she is emotional and wears it on her sleeve so to speak. I pray she never gets into the rest of the stuff like cutting and such, but if she does I will just have to help her and get her some counseling for it. She is starting to try to pull back from the activities at church and even said that she doesn't know if she really wants to go to LLL this year with the Church, but I told her that she is already signed up and she needs to follow through, then if she doesn't want to go next year that will be fine. I guess I knew she would pull away from it sometime, but I am still hoping to keep her interested in Church and stuff.

Christmas went well here, even with finances tight we were able to get B.J. what she wanted, and my husband still tried to spoil me some too. I got him a pen that was hand turned by our preacher, and it is gorgeous! He really liked it, and that made me feel good. I was able to babysit in return for the pen, so I didn't have to use his money to get him a gift. That made me feel good, I did it on my own without help. I don't get to do that to much. My oldest kids did okay too. I am in a little of a weird mood, between melancholy and proud of B.J. and just in a funk I guess you could say. Not really depressed, but just,I don't know, weird.

Well, I guess I need to get off of here, B.J. and her 2 guest for her Birthday are in the kitchen, making a cake, from scratch, never having done it before, I need to go supervise before the kitchen is wrecked and I have to clean it by myself.
May God bless you all,
Judy

3 more days until Christmas

2008-12-22T09:01:00.004-06:00

As I sit here, missing John of course, and thinking about the Christmas holidays, I think about how God gave us his son, whom we Celebrate every year, and should Celebrate every day. Christmas is not just about the giving and receiving of gifts, or a big jolly man in red, riding in a sleigh with 8 reindeer flying him around to leave gifts under the trees around the world. It is about the birth of our Savior, the Son of God. The Son that God gave to us, who lived to please our Father in heaven, who was pure as we can only strive to be, that was crucified so that we can be forgiven for our sins and have a chance at having a place in heaven with Him and all His children. My son truly believed in God and Jesus, and lived in a manner that most grown Christians would be proud, I know I was proud. Even toward the end of his young life, and he was struggling with breathing and scared, all I had to do was ask him if he still believed in God, and that God had a plan, he would say yes or just shake his head yes, and would settle in and let God and the doctors do what they would. I always said that he was an old soul in a young and imperfect body, and was wise beyond his years. Now I try to live my life with the faith and strength as my son did, to make him proud of me, and to let everyone know that I too have faith in the Lord, and that I try to live as God wants me to. That is not to say that I don't still struggle with the loss in my heart, the ache of emptiness where John should be, but it does sooth my soul to know that my little John is were God wants him to be as am I, and that if I read my bible, and do as God wants, and have faith, that I have a chance to be with my son, beside our Lord and Savior in Heaven some day. So, while you celebrate, in what ever way you celebrate this holiday season, remember what it is truly about, Thanking God for all the blessings he has given us all, and for Giving His Son, so that our sins may be forgiven. Love your kids while you can, for they are a gift from God, and we never know when they will be called home to our Lord. We need to love everyone in our lives, because we are not guaranteed even one more day, so spread the Love and while you are at it, spread the word, that Christ is there waiting for us all, to hear the word of the Bible, to believe in him, to repent from our sins, and to receive him into our lives. The Gospel is for us all, will you read, listen and repent?
God bless you each and every one!
In Him,
Judy

Not so bad

2008-12-16T14:55:00.002-06:00

Well, the weather wasn't to bad. We did have enough icing that the school decided that they would play it safe and close the school, but it has rained enough and warmed up enough that they should be back at school tomorrow. My husband and his friends have fixed my plumbing in the kitchen, and I have washed some dishes and run the dishwasher as well. Plus I also did a load of clothes. I am baby sitting, and he is doing okay, just thinks my attention should be completely on him instead of him entertaining himself, and he has annoyed me enough to give me a headache. Oh well, this is the last day until Saturday so hopefully my headache will go away shortly after his mom picks him up (hopefully soon!)

So other than that things are going okay, kids are fine, and family fine. So I guess I will go for now.
God bless,
Judy

Will be get more bad weather?

2008-12-15T20:59:00.002-06:00

Well, it is almost 9:00pm, and the question of the night is, will we get the bad weather that is heading this way, and will school be closed tomorrow? I don't know, I guess we will just have to wait and see. Things are pretty weird around here right now. I had a stomach bug yesterday, so I ended up missing church, B.J. got into a pretty heated argument with one of her friends at church, and today, my plumbing decided to act up, and my kitchen sink is stopped up pretty bad. My husband, bless his heart, tried everything but taking the pipes out to fix it today, with his friends help that is, but to no avail. We still can't use the sink. Every other drain is fine, just the kitchen sink isn't draining. So frustrating! Tomorrow, they may have to replace the pipes from the sink to the main drain it connects to. All I wanted to do is scream. It is to close to Christmas for bad times. But, when it rains it pours I guess. My husband is great though, he let me vent, and by the end we were laughing. Other than that, things are peachy keen, :) So, it is just 10 more days until we take time to remember the Birth of Christ our Savior. I plan on reading the bible that morning, and taking time to remember Him and Thanking God for all he does and has done for all of us.
So, it is about time to get ready for bed,
May God bless us all,
Judy

Hello all!

2008-12-13T12:55:00.002-06:00

Hello all, just a little post to let you all know that things are well here. The snow melted yesterday, and except for what is under the trees or shaded areas, the snow is gone for this time. I enjoyed watching it, it was pretty, but I don't like driving on it. So when the roads are icy or have snow on them, it is hard for me to go anywhere. That is due to a wreck I had over 20 years ago, nobody was hurt, but it just scared me, so unless necessary, I don't drive on it.

Things are going well here today, I am baby sitting a 4 year old who is taking his nap right now. I have also helped B.J. with her research paper, mainly the printing of it. We have our house networked so that if one printer is out of ink, then we can use another. We each have our own printer and computer, but her printer is out of ink, so I had to show her how to send it to mine. Fun, fun, just the same things. I will be going to town later to get a few things, but otherwise just doing things around the house.

I am looking forward to Church tomorrow, we are to hear the 3rd lesson lesson on forgiveness and the anger from being hurt by others. So, it should be a real good day.
Well that is about it for now,
God Bless,
Judy

We have snow!!

2008-12-11T16:52:00.004-06:00

This is what is started out looking like, at about 4:00pm here.

This is about 40 minutes later.

There have been a lot of accidents, and I found out that one resulted in someones death. It is surprising how dangerous weather can be.

Wishing everyone Luck.

Judy

Well, Christmas is almost here.

2008-12-10T13:01:00.002-06:00

Well, we have 15 more days until Christmas, it seems like it should not even be December yet, let alone almost Christmas and a New Year. Time flies sometimes, I was talking to my husband last night about how when we are young, it seems like we will never be adults and like time just stands still when we want it to hurry, then we get older, have kids, and it seems like time just goes by so fast. Our children grow up way to fast, and it seems like it doesn't take long until they are grown, or almost grown. They move out, and develop their own lives, and relationships, and it seems like they should still be little. If you have young children, don't wish they would grow up because before you know it you will be wishing they were little again. Enjoy them while you can, even through the difficult stages, because believe me when I say, you will miss those times more than you can even believe when they are grown and out of your house. I miss my kids being little so much! My youngest girl, B.J., will be 15 years old the 28th of this month, and it seems like she has grown way to fast. She is wearing makeup now, and developing her own style, not one I particularly care for, but one she is comfortable with, and wanting to get her learners permit, and start driving. AHHHHHHHHH! It scares me to no end, my youngest driving soon! Another year and she will be able to go out on dates, man the scary times are here and I just can't believe she is old enough for all of this. I pray that John really looks after her through these years, along with the Lord. I am so thankful that I don't have to go through the "Teen Years" again. It is hard for me, but I know that these years can be real hard on kids as they grow.

So enough of that, To scary! HA, HA! So what have I been doing since the last post? Well, I have been doing much better emotionally, I know that John is in a much better place than we are, and that I am where I am supposed to be in life. I have been working on the baby afghan I am making for my grandson. The first grandson in our family, my stepson's. I still am having a little bit of a hard time with the name they picked out, but it is their decision after all, and I have to accept that, so it is getting easier. I think part of that is due to the sermons that our Minister has been preaching. It is a little series about forgiving, dealing with the anger, and stuff like that. The first was from Matthew 18, where Peter asks Christ how many times we should forgive someone for sinning against us. And Christ tells him that we must forgive as God has forgiven us. So we must always forgive those who trespass against us. Then he told us about dealing with the anger. Ephesians 4:26 tells us to be angry, Do Not Sin, and not let the sun go down on our anger. That being angry is normal when we are wronged, but to be careful and not sin while we are angry which is easy to do, and to deal with it, because if we don't we are giving Satan a way into our lives. And in verse 32 we are reminded that we are to be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God, In Christ forgave us. So I have decided that I must forgive my stepson for what he did to our family, and that it is for God to judge him, not me, and that as far as I am concerned it is over and I will not speak of it again. And when I decided that, it just seemed that God took a lot of the anger out of my heart and things have been so much better since. I know I may never forget, but it is over and I will not hold it in my heart anymore, and that trespass is forgiven. Wow, I guess it is time to get of my podium now.
I am blessed to be a part of the Church and to have a minister that can touch my heart so well with his sermons and teachings. It excites me to be a part of the church, and I am trying to be a Christian that God will be proud of.

So off I go to do more crafts and some housework, and I pray that God blesses you all, as he has blessed me.
Judy

The Christmas season is here, and soon it will be Christmas!

2008-12-02T21:19:00.004-06:00

Well, here is a picture of my Christmas tree. I still haven't decided if I am going to add more ornaments or if I am going to leave it like it is, but John's picture is right in the middle of the tree in between the tails of the bow. You can't see it on here, but he is there along with ornaments that he made before his treatment and I enjoy looking at them. B.J. also has a picture on the tree and ornaments as well. My other kids pictures are not on the tree, but their ornaments are. I may give them their ornaments on day, but not right now. I am doing a little better today, and taking one day at a time. Though it has been more than a year and a half since John's death, and this is the second Christmas season that I have gone through without my little boy, it is still almost as hard as last year. Sometimes harder, though I haven't figured out why yet. I just miss him so much, and still feel that it just isn't right to have had to let him go at such a young age. I am keeping myself busy, knitting mainly as well as crocheting, baby sitting, and making greeting cards. Yes, I do like my crafts. Here is a shot of the afghan that I just got done today. It is a standard size knit afghan that I made for a friend of mine for her Christmas present. I sure hope she likes it. It is the first full size (not a baby size) that I have knit. Now I have started one for my stepson's baby that is due in February. I don't like to wait for the last minute, because if I have a spell of not wanting to knit for a while, then I will still have time to finish before I need it to be done. Well, it is getting a little late so I am going to go for now. Please pray for all mom's missing their angels this holiday season, even me. It is times like this that are the hardest.

Thanking God for all the blessings he has given to me, including the ability to make things with my hands.

Working my way through life without John,

Judy

Hello

2008-12-01T13:44:00.002-06:00

Well, thanksgiving went well, We ate lunch with my parents and family, then we came home and I cooked for my husbands mom and dad and a friend of ours. Busy, busy, busy! I have since been working on getting my Christmas tree up, and getting some crafting done. I am starting to have a little of a hard time, which I expected would happen, the closer it gets to Christmas. It was always my favorite time of the year, and I think of John so much during the holidays. I have several ornaments for my tree that he helped make, and that one of his teachers at church gave him before he got real sick, and that helps a little. It reminds me that he is still here in our hearts and minds, and last year we got an ornament that holds a picture, and I put my favorite picture of him that was taken his last Christmas here on earth so that he would always be with us during the holidays. But to be honest, even though I go through the motions, and do have a pretty good time during the holidays, I don't think I will ever be able to enjoy it like I used to. If it wasn't for B.J., I don't think I would even try to go through all the decorating and such, because it is just not the same since John passed away. So, I guess I will just keep trying to go through the motions, and cry when nobody is home but me, and just keep on living as I know John would want me to do. I also know that there are other moms out there who are dealing with all this for the first time this year, and my heart breaks for them too. Well, I guess I will quit rambling for now, and just be thankful that I have my family that is still here on earth with me, and be thankful for the time I had with John, and pray that God helps me through as well as all the other moms out there who are feeling these terrible heartaches and pains of loosing their kids. It just seems so wrong to have to go on after laying to rest a precious child. For those of you who read this and have children, make sure to let them know how much you love them, and hug them as much as possible. Make time to snuggle, and laugh and play with them, for one day, you may not be able to do these things, and that will be what you long for the most. So, love your children and families, before it is to late.
Trying to get through another hard holiday season without my Little John.
Judy

Thanksgiving is just a few days away.

2008-11-23T14:59:00.002-06:00

Well, Thanksgiving is just a few days away, so what all are you thankful for? I am thankful that God is on my side, that he comforts me when I need it, and forgives me when I fail to do as he wants, and is always there even when I have doubts. I am thankful for all my kids, and the time I have with them. I am thankful God allowed me to be John's mom, even though our time here on earth together was only 11 1/2 years, that is longer than some mom's get with their gifts from God. I am thankful for a wonderful husband who does what he can to keep us all happy, healthy and taken care of. I am thankful for my friends, who support me and laugh with me, and sometimes, just make me smile. I am thankful for the blessings that God has given me throughout my 44 years. I am thankful for the hard times too, because they remind me that if I have faith that things will be easier before long. I am thankful for the sad time, so that I can appreciate the happy times more. If we all would just sit and realize how much the Lord gives us every day, and thank him for every blessing, great or small, then the bad times wouldn't be so bad, and the sad times would be as short lived as possible, and we would have better days all around.

What are you Thankful for?
Thank you God for everything!
Judy

Okay I have been Lazy!

2008-11-13T12:44:00.002-06:00

Well, so I have been a little lazy about posting, I guess I have just had other things on my mind. I have to admit, I have been struggling lately with a little depression, but I think I have a grip on it again. I think it was brought on by knowing there is another mom out there struggling after the death of her son, Matthew. I read her posts and it just reminded me how hard it was and still is sometimes, and I got down. But I took a day for myself, and went out and got some new craft stuff, mainly stuff for stamping and scrapbooking, then I came home and made some cards. I use blank cards that I get at the store, and just stamp them and make them nice looking. Then I went to church last night and we used one of the cards I had made for a friend at church who is having health issues right now. It did my heart good to know that I could make something and use it to lift someones spirit and let them know that I am praying for them. I also gave some of the cards I had made to the teen girls teacher at church for them to use. When I was young I never really understood the saying about helping others can help yourself, but now, I have realized that when I can make something or do something for someone else, it makes me feel blessed for everything God has given me. And I also feel more at peace with all that me and my family has been through. Someone suggested that I make some of the cards, and sell them, but I don't think I will. I think it would take the fun and satisfaction out of it for me. I would rather just do it to lift other peoples spirit, and to help other groups at church to send. I will also be making some so that I can send them out for Christmas.

Other that that, I have just been working on some of my knitting, and crocheting projects. I have to get back to making my angel ornaments if I intend to get about 25 more done in about a month. AHHHHHHHH can you believe that it is almost Thanksgiving, then Christmas and then the year will be over. Man, this year has just flown by hasn't it.

Well, I need to get busy, I have stuff I need to be doing besides being on the Internet. Don't forget to thank God for all the blessings in your life.
Live, Laugh and Love,
Judy

What a beautiful day!

2008-11-04T20:22:00.002-06:00

Today has been an absolutely beautiful day. B.J. had a recheck at the Orthopedic doctor and it went great. We don't have to go back unless something else comes up. YEAH! Praise God. We went to the Ronald McDonald house and turned in a bunch of cola tabs and visited, that was great to see the people who work there that I came to think of as family, and we got to see Logan Miller and his mom Johna, brother Connor, and his Grandmother who he calls Maw. They looked great, and he is now only having to go to the clinic once a month. I also got to see the transplant team, and surprise them with a visit, they looked great and we all stood around for a minute and talked and enjoyed seeing each other again. After B.J.'s appointment, we went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond ( a store that sells kitchen stuff, as well as bath works, and bedding as such. I enjoy the kitchen area myself. Then we went to the book store, Barnes and Noble, and I didn't spend anything on me but I got a friend a bookmark, and B.J. a new Bible and Bible Cover. I enjoyed visiting old friends and spending time with B.J., we had some good laughs and a good time, and the weather couldn't have been much better either. It wasn't to hot, and wasn't to cold either, it was just the way I like it. I am worn completely out! But I loved it.
Thanking God for good results at the doctor, and for such a blessed day,
May God bless you all as he has me!
Judy

Feeling better and preparing to take B.J. to doctor

2008-11-03T08:26:00.002-06:00

Well, I am feeling a bit better about life and all. I just needed to take time and process everything again. Tomorrow B.J. has an appointment with the doctor, it is a recheck from where they found a fibroid on her thigh bone a while back. I hope it has gone down some, or at least not gotten any bigger. She has been having muscle pain in her lower legs a lot lately and I don't know if it is the increase in activity from Physical Education class, or growing pains, or something to worry about. Of course I am mom, so I worry anyway, but since she has had a fractured growth plate in her ankle, and problems with knee pain, and then the fibroid, I really get nervous. Please pray for a good visit to the doctor with good news, and also for a safe trip. We are also going to go into Nashville since we will be so close, and take the drink tabs we have been saving. Between the Middle school and the Intermediate school, people at church, and the community, we have saved about a 5 gallon bucket full of them. Not bad, at least I don't think so. I have decided that I am going to try to save up tabs for as long as I can, and take them to Nashville at least once a year. It is the least I can do for the Ronald McDonald House, especially after living there for over 200 days. I don't know exactly how many days, but I know I never would have been able to pay for a hotel or anything like that for that long. So other than that things are going well.
May God bless you all,
Judy

Dealing with life can hurt sometimes!

2008-11-01T13:51:00.003-05:00

Well, dealing with life can hurt sometimes. I have been dealing with the death of Matthew, and the knowledge that another mother is having to sort through the feelings that go along with the loss of a child, and that of course reopened some not quite healed wounds on my heart. I know her pain, confusion, anger, and total heartbreak that she is feeling, wondering what she will do now that he is gone, how will she continue to live, how will she ever be happy again. I just pray that she can lean on God, and know that even though we do not understand what has happened, that He has a reason, and a plan, and that if we continue to believe in Him and let him lead us through this very hard life, than maybe we can get to heaven and get the answers we would like to have now. I know that Matthew is no longer hurting, and as hard as he fought and the faith that he had was an inspiration to many, and a testimony to our Lord, Jesus Christ. I just pray that God wraps his loving arms around Matt's family and comforts them, and strengthens them, for there are many more hard days to go through. The "firsts" that come after the death of a child is almost as cruel as the death itself, not quite as bad, but so darn close to it. But, after a day of reflecting, and prayer, and just letting myself mourn, both for the Litchfields and myself, I am dealing with it and thanking the Lord that he went peacefully, and that they didn't have to make the decision to stop life support. That still to this day haunts me sometimes, I wonder if I should have given him more time, but then I remember that he was bleeding into his lungs, and there was nothing more the doctors could do, John had to be let go. But that was the hardest decision I ever had to make, and I would not wish that situation on any parent ever.

So other than that things are good. B.J. and I made a cute little dinner last night, one of the first times we cooked a whole meal together. I enjoyed it very much, even though I normally don't eat hot dogs, and there was way to many starches.

Well, I am going to try to catch up on some house work that needs to be done,
God bless you all,
Judy

God has another angel by his side.

2008-10-30T20:51:00.002-05:00

My little friend Matthew earned his angel wings tonight. His body was just to tired to come back out of it this time and he passed away peacefully at 6:10 pm. My heart is breaking for his family, they have a difficult road ahead as they adjust to a life without their son. I know their pain, and I hope you will join me in lifting this family up to our Father in Heaven, and as Him to comfort their pain and help them through this time of mourning.
Until next post,
Judy

Praying for a friend

2008-10-26T21:06:00.002-05:00

Well, any of you that read my blog know that I have been worried about a young friend of mine. Well, he is in the picu, on a respirator of some type, not sure which one, but his carbon dioxide level is not good, and he is again in critical condition. So I am not in much of a blog mood, just a little down and worried for him and his family. They have been through so much these last 2 years, and I just pray God will give him his earthly miracle, and let him recover completely and show all the doctors who is always in total control. There are just to many children fighting for their lives, and I worry about them so much.

Other than that, I have just been knitting, crocheting and doing stuff around the house that I usually do. Oh yeah, and babysitting too. I went to Columbia Friday with a friend of mine that I help out when she needs me. We went to my favorite store, Hobby Lobby of course, and I found some nice stamps that I just had to have. I enjoy scrap booking and card making along with my needle crafts, and I am just starting to get a small supply of stamps and inks, so I was just tickled to find these.

Everyone is doing fine here. B.J. is busy with Church activities right now, and school too of course, so we stay hopping that is for sure. My husband is doing well, working a lot of course, he wouldn't have it any other way, I am blessed to have him as a husband and provider. My oldest daughter, Becky is doing well in school and stuff, she has really turned around lately, and I am very proud of her. My son, Brad, is doing well, and trying to get a job as a police officer somewhere, but so far no luck, but at least he has a job, even if it is in a factory. That is better than a lot of people who are still looking for a job. And I am enjoying just being a stay at home mom, taking care of B.J. and my husband, and doing things at church and crafting at home. So, now you know what I have been up to lately. It is getting late and I am going to go for now.

Don't forget to thank God for the blessings he gives us all every day,
Judy

Hello

2008-10-20T21:43:00.003-05:00

Well, it has been a while, I guess there really hasn't been to much to post about. I have been watching a little boy 3 days a week, but this week his mom is on vacation so I won't have him until Sunday or Monday of next week. I have been helping my friend, Dinah, with driving her mom places and her as well. We went to Columbia today to take her mom to one of her Doctor appointments, and while we were there we went to Hobby Lobby, which of course is one of my favorite stores. It is basically a store that has almost any supplies for almost any craft you would want to do in it. I picked up some crochet thread to make snowflakes and angels out of to give as little gifts and also to decorate my Christmas Tree. I am still going to the Russian class that are at the church two times a week, and I am really enjoying them. I am slowly learning, but the important thing, to me anyway, is having fun trying to learn something new. We will be having the lessons for about another week. Our friends who are teaching us are going back to Russia the first week in November until sometime in February, so we will have to try to study and remember what we have learned until then. Other than that, I am just staying home, taking care of my family, and going to church.

Matthew was doing quite a bit better for a while, but he is having a rough time of it again. He has an enterococci (sp?) infection that has gotten into his blood stream because of being so immunosuppressed (sp?) for so long, and it is causing all kinds of problems. Please help me pray for this very brave, and strong young man, and his family as well. If you would like to check on him yourself, please go to an earlier post and use the link there. I know they would appreciate the prayers and comments left on their guestbook. He is bad enough that he has a nurse assigned to him alone, so basically he is critical again I think. It is just heartbreaking to know there is so many children fighting like Matthew is. But Prayer is all I can do to help them, so I will continue to pray!

Well, until next time,
God Bless,
Judy

Hello

2008-10-11T14:03:00.002-05:00

Well, I have been busy! I have been helping a friend who had to have surgery on her hand. She wasn't able to get her mom's compression stockings on with one hand for a few days, so I helped her with that and all the other stuff that she can't do one handed. I have also been going to the Christian Service Center at our church and taking some Russian language classes twice a week, and they are a blast. I don't know how much I will actually learn, but I am enjoying the experience very much. And I watch a friends little boy 3 days a week. All of this plus my regular house work, so I haven't been online for long periods of time lately, just long enough to check my emails and do a couple other things. But I have enjoyed it all. I like to stay busy, and help friend, and all that kind of stuff.

So to update on Matthew, he is doing better, and the doctors have rescinded the DNR orders, YEAH!!! Which means that he is a little further out of critical condition which just thrills me to no end. PRAISE GOD!!!! What a great way to show he works for us all, by answering our prayers for Matthew. It was close there for a while, but every day he has little improvements, and I am so happy for him and his family. If you want to check his site out it is: www.caringbridge.org/visit/matthewlitchfield . What a fighter he is.

My family is doing well. Becky is in Cosmetology class at the technical school and is doing well. Her attitude is much better and I am very proud of her. She is slowly paying off her Probation costs, and then plans on paying her court fees on her own, which I am very proud of. Then she plans on paying off old debts she accumulated when she was on her own. She has changed for the better since September when she started school and living with my parents. I can not say enough how proud I am of her turning her life around with the help of my parents.

B.J. got all A's on her first report card this year, with her grades being 100, 99, 98, and 98. Can't ask for much better than that. Man she is a very smart young lady. The only things we have a problems with is her teen aged attitude sometimes. But I am sure I can handle it with time, I already got through it with 2 others, so one more time won't be to bad. She is also going to the Russian classes with me, and does real well, even though she only goes because her friends from church are going.

My husband and I are doing well, he is working as usual, and things are moving right along. So, that is what has been happening here. I hope you all are well, and counting your blessings every day. I am thankful for having such a great family life, and great friends, and a loving God in my corner.
In Christian Love,
Judy