Well, it has been another month, and I am still working for the GED office. It is part-time, but at least I still have a job. I have applied for another job, but haven't heard anything back from it. I would love to keep the job I have, but I need a full time job, with benefits would be nice. But I will take what the Good Lord gives me, and I will be thankful with what I have. When he wants me to find another job, he will lead me to it.
I find myself sometimes getting very melancholy lately. I miss John so very much this time of the year. I know that he is no longer in pain, and I know that God called him home, but the human side of me just wishes I could have one more hug from his precious arms. Just one more,"I love you, mommy," from his precious lips. One more glimpse of that twinkle of mischeviousness in his beautiful brown eyes. I try not to dwell on all that, because I know that it just opens the heartache that I feel every day wide open. I go on with life, because that is just what I have to do. I take every day as the blessing it is, but still wonder what he would have been like as a 16 year old boy, who he would like, would he have a girlfriend and if so what kind of girl she would be. All the pondering of what things would be like are useless, I know, but a mother that looses their child just can't help but wonder. Or at least I can't help but wonder about these things. But life goes on, and so must I. At least until it is my turn to be called to the Lord.
Until the next post, I pray that God blesses and keeps you all safe and happy.
Judy
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