Dealing with life can hurt sometimes!

Well, dealing with life can hurt sometimes. I have been dealing with the death of Matthew, and the knowledge that another mother is having to sort through the feelings that go along with the loss of a child, and that of course reopened some not quite healed wounds on my heart. I know her pain, confusion, anger, and total heartbreak that she is feeling, wondering what she will do now that he is gone, how will she continue to live, how will she ever be happy again. I just pray that she can lean on God, and know that even though we do not understand what has happened, that He has a reason, and a plan, and that if we continue to believe in Him and let him lead us through this very hard life, than maybe we can get to heaven and get the answers we would like to have now. I know that Matthew is no longer hurting, and as hard as he fought and the faith that he had was an inspiration to many, and a testimony to our Lord, Jesus Christ. I just pray that God wraps his loving arms around Matt's family and comforts them, and strengthens them, for there are many more hard days to go through. The "firsts" that come after the death of a child is almost as cruel as the death itself, not quite as bad, but so darn close to it. But, after a day of reflecting, and prayer, and just letting myself mourn, both for the Litchfields and myself, I am dealing with it and thanking the Lord that he went peacefully, and that they didn't have to make the decision to stop life support. That still to this day haunts me sometimes, I wonder if I should have given him more time, but then I remember that he was bleeding into his lungs, and there was nothing more the doctors could do, John had to be let go. But that was the hardest decision I ever had to make, and I would not wish that situation on any parent ever.

So other than that things are good. B.J. and I made a cute little dinner last night, one of the first times we cooked a whole meal together. I enjoyed it very much, even though I normally don't eat hot dogs, and there was way to many starches.

Well, I am going to try to catch up on some house work that needs to be done,
God bless you all,
Judy