Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Excited and Nervous

I am both excited and nervous. As a lot of people know, I have been trying to get into the Technology School, into Business systems for 1 1/3 year now (they have trimesters). Well yesterday, I decided to go back up as I usually do shortly before a new trimester begins, and found out that I am still number 18 on the day class waiting list. So I decided to be added to the night class waiting list as well, so that I can get started with schooling. After all I am already 46 years old, I need to get some education and get started on "my life" now that B.J. is going to be a junior this year. I am almost an empty nester, so it is my turn so to speak. Any way, I asked where I was on the night class list and they said that I was number 8. So I said, "OK, so how many spots are going to be open in that class this next trimester?" And guess what, they are going to have 8 openings. I take that to mean that I am going to be going to school. Now that the time is here I am excited but nervous. I didn't like school that much when I was young. I didn't do so well in college, actually got academically suspended from MTSU, then dropped out of Columbia State with only 5 more courses to take, 3 composition and 2 cobalt programming classes. So, I am just nervous as I can be. Have I grown enough to buckle down and do it? Will my brain absorb the information well enough for me to pass. AHAHAH!!! What am I doing? Well, I will put my best foot forward, and do my best and PRAY a lot too. HA. I have faith that I can do it, so I WILL do it. Pray for me!
I pray the Lord Blesses you all,
Judy

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Another day

Well, today is another day, a day to try to get some things done. I finally finished my fafsa form, yes I am still trying to get into tech school. It has been over a year, September will mark 4 tri-mesters of waiting on a waiting list for day classes, but I am still trying. Tomorrow I will go up and see if I can find out if I will be able to get into day classes. If it doesn't look like I will be able to get into day classes, I guess I will do night classes. I don't want to, but I can't wait forever to do day classes.

I have a young friend over, he is playing Zelda, and I think he is getting a little frustrated. I know how he feels, I have already played way past where he is, and it does get tough. His parents had to take his sister to a doctors appointment, so I agreed to let him come out here and play the Wii and then I can take him to church. They should be back either before church, or before church is over, so he will go home afterwards.

Other than that, things are going okay. Can't complain, the bills are being paid, and that is what matters. Hopefully if I do get into school, it won't be but a little over a year, and I can go out and try to find a job that has benefits, and we will then be a 2 income family so things might get better.

Well, I am off of here for now, hope you all have a blessed day!
Judy

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Life

Well, life has it's ups and downs for everyone. I am doing okay, just having a few issues, don't know exactly what it is. Muscle weakness, getting tired doing little to nothing. If I do much, I feel like I have run a marathon. I went to the doctor, they did blood work, but didn't find anything. He seemed to think it was a viral thing, but it should be better by now I would think, after all it has been 2 days since I saw him and little has changed. They checked my B12 levels, but the results won't be in for a few days (which means any day now), and they gave me a B12 shot just in case. I don't know, we will just have to see how things go.

My son is having a rough time right now too. His Aunt is suing him over a motorcycle. I don't know when it became okay to sue your own family, but his Aunt is. They bought it in their name for Brad, then when he wanted to come back home to TN instead of staying in Idaho, they got mad at him and wouldn't let him bring the motorcycle home with him. He didn't feel it was right paying for it when they wouldn't let him bring it with him, so he didn't pay them back. Well, apparently they didn't pay for it either, and the bank repo'ed it and sold it and there was a 5,000 dollar difference so the bank sued his Aunt for the difference since it was their loan. Well, in Idaho, a verbal agreement, even if they broke it by not letting him bring it with him, is just as binding as a written one, and she won't even let him pay it off a little at a time, and is really being awful to him. I would never treat family that way. I have been screwed by family too, but I didn't sue them or make it harder than it needed to be on them. Who knows, I am just glad I am not part of that family, except through my kids, any more.

Becky is doing okay. She is working at a decent job in the field that she is schooled in, Cosmetology. She is married, and happy, and she is off to Maryland with her husband and some of his family on vacation, visiting his family up there and going to the zoo, and to the Smithsonian Institute. I am proud of them for doing well, and making a happy life for themselves. She is upset that her brother is having to deal with so much, and is finding out that their fathers side of the family isn't all they thought it was. She is starting to understand why I left her dad, and doesn't hate me so much for it. She actually had Bobby Joe give her away at her wedding. She didn't even want her dad there. She invited her grandmother but she wouldn't even come. So sad that family is, I feel sorry for Becky and Brad for the way their fathers side of the family treat them and each other. I am proud though of how she is dealing with it.

B.J. is, well, B.J. and is a typical 16 year old who doesn't talk to her parents unless she wants to. And when she wants to talk, it doesn't matter if we are busy or if I am trying to sleep or have "me" time. Of course if she needs to talk to me, I will drop everything and listen the best I can. It is hard to believe that she will be starting her Junior year of High School. She is growing up so fast and she is my last child home. I don't know where the time has gone. I feel like I missed so much of her youth while I was away with John while he was getting his BMT. I feel like I let her down somehow. I know I was doing what I had to do, but that doesn't make it any easier when it comes to me not being there for her. I did my best, but was it good enough? All I can do is the best I can from here on.

Well, that just leaves my husband, and step-children. My hubby is doing well, or as well as he can. He has had an ulcerated place on his foot that he has been having treated since April. It is finally about healed, but it was bad for a while. I thought he would loose his toe, or even his foot for a while because it looked so bad. But he is doing much better now so that is good. My step-son Wilson is still living with his mom, and jobless, and not trying to take care of himself. He never graduated, and won't get his GED, and won't try to find a job. I worry about him, what will happen when his mom isn't there to take care of him, I do not know. I didn't give my kids the option of living off me, so I do not know what will happen. I won't take care of a grown man who won't try to take care of himself. My other step-son is doing well. He is living in Mobile, Alabama with his fiance, and they have a beautiful son named John Micheal. So, yes, I am a grandmother. Step-Grandmother really, but none the less he is my grandson. I love him so much. Amber, my Step-son, Bobby's fiance is a good girl. She is getting her GED, and they are working hard to move into their own place. They are living with her grandparents right now, but Bobby has a good job and they were house hunting last weekend. I am so excited for them.

Well, that about wraps this up for today, so I will close for now.
May God Bless us all,
Judy

Monday, July 5, 2010

Well, the 4TH is over.

Yes, the 4th of July is over. I am so thankful for the freedoms we have and the men and women who gave their time and lives to ensure those freedoms. I am thankful that we can go to church without being persecuted, and gather with family and even shoot fireworks without worrying about freedoms. but I am tired and would like to get some sleep tonight so I hope all the firework fanatics will be done with them until next year. You really know you are getting old when you want peace and quite shortly after dark. LOL. But honestly, I haven't felt that well the last couple days, and would like to get some sleep before 12 or 1 tonight so that maybe I will feel more human tomorrow.

I miss John a lot right now, maybe because he enjoyed being able to just go outside and look over the trees and see the neighbors fireworks until late during the independence day celebrations. Maybe just because I still have spells missing him a lot. I often wonder how he would be doing in school now, if he had lived he would be starting High School this fall. I often wonder if he would be attracted to the girls yet and if so what type of girl he would have his eye on. What would he want to be, and how many times he would change his mind on his future goals. But these are a lot of things that I will not be able to share with him. I won't be able to watch him grow up and make mistakes and laugh, and cry with him. I won't be able to see him drive off to his first date, or his first prom, or graduate or anything like that. All I can do now is try to remember everything I can about him, and who he was and what he did while he was here on Earth with us. I still get so very angry, especially when I see parents who don't care about their kids. I did care, I did love, I still love all my kids. Why, oh why did mine have to go at such a tender age? I know God has his reasons, and I know I will find them out one day. But sometimes it is hard not to be angry and hurt, and miss him so much that it is hard to function.
May God give me the strength to keep on keeping on,
Good night,
Judy

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Well, the 2nd half of the year has begun

Hello again. Well, today is the beginning of the second half of this year. It doesn't seem like the year is half over already, but it is. I started walking today, I made it about 20 minutes around, and around, and around the Christian Service Center. I plugged my ipod in and put the earphones on and listened to some good Gospel Music, and walked and sang. It is the beginning, and I am going to try to keep it up, 5 days a week, from now on and try to get myself into shape.

I heard from my stepson and his fiancee tonight and found out that they are coming up this weekend. I get to see my grandson, and Amber and Bobby and I am looking forward to it. I wish I could see them more often, but at least we do see them when they get to come up.

Well, I am going to bed as it is getting late here.
God Bless,
Judy