Monday, June 7, 2010

Wow, It has been a while!

Well, it has been a while since I have posted. I will not go through the many reasons why I haven't, there are too many ups and downs since the last post. But I am still around, still going day by day, and still trusting God, and the fact that he is in control and has a plan for me and my life.

B.J. has her drivers license and goes out with friends on occasion. She went with friends to the movies Saturday, and had a good time. Yes, she still gives me some teenage drama, but not as bad as my other kids did. She likes to push the boundaries on occasion, but that is what teens do, or at least in my experience they do. She is still an honor student, and has been accepted into the National Beta Club. I don't know where she gets her smarts so to speak, but she is a very smart young lady, and I know she will do something in her future. Right now she is thinking something in the animal medicine field.

My grandson and his parents got to come up from Alabama over Memorial Day Weekend. I loved seeing them all. I just wish I could see them more often so that I could spoil him a little. HAHAHA! I miss them.

I am still waiting for the school to call, and am beginning to get frustrated with having to wait. I just pray that I get in soon. I am ready to do something to do with my life. After all, I have been a stay at home mom now for over 23 years, I need to make a life for me. I need to do more than just stay at home and be mom, something that is mine so to speak. A job that would help us financially, and maybe be able to get a nest egg built up, and go on trips and such. That is what I am looking for in my life.

It has been 3+ years since my young man earned his angel wings, and I still miss him as if it was just yesterday. Some days I don't know how I get through, I just try to keep busy doing something, and keep the good moments in my heart. I was getting my video camera ready, and checking my cassettes for it, and found the one from when I got the video camera for Christmas. It was John's last Christmas, when we were in Vanderbilt. It rocked me to my core, and I am still struggling to not let it get me down to far. He was having fun going through all his new DS games, and so was B.J. and they wouldn't even look at the camera much, but he was in it. It was hard for me, as you can probably tell. I don't think that many people really realise just how hard a time that I still have with all of this. Not even my family. I don't let people see me down like this, for fear that they will feel uncomfortable and shy away from me more that a lot of them already have. I feel as if I have to be happy all the time when people are around, or if I am out around other people. But anyway, life goes on.

Well I guess I will go for now, got some housework to do, not that I enjoy it at all.
Hope all out in blog land has a great day,
Till next time,
Judy

1 comment:

Traci said...

Judy, I hope you know that I am here whenever you need a shoulder to cry on... I know that I am hard to pin down anymore on many occasions but I want to be there for you my dear sweet friend! I love you and your family to very dearly!