Hello again.

Hello again. I know, it has been a while, but the only thing I can say is that Spring seems to be one of the hardest times for me. Mainly April, and of course September. I have been thinking about John a lot lately, and have been struggling a little with some depression. But I am managing it, with the help of a lot of friends shoulders to cry on. It is just so hard to believe that in 12 days it will be 2 years since my little boy died. I think it really hit home when I found out that a young lady at Church is expecting about that time. It is just hard. I miss him bringing me the daffodils and tulips that are bent over from my yard and giving them to me. I just see them in the yard and tears come to my eyes. I know, this is all normal, but it still hurts. To be honest, IT SUCKS!!!!!!!! He would be 13 now, an actual teenager, had he made it through his treatment. I know he is no longer hurting, and is healed in heaven, but my heart is still broken, and I sometimes wonder if it will ever be any better. I know I will always love him and miss him, but will it ever be easy to see other people that are the age he would be and not lose it in one way or another? Spring used to be one of my favorite seasons, now I just don't know how I feel about it. Spring to me used to be about things coming back to life, turning green and all, but now it reminds me of the death of my baby boy. Man this really sucks sometimes. God help me, my strength isn't to good right now.
Till next time,
May God bless us all,
Judy