Hello again. Things are going well today. B.J. is feeling better, but her throat still hurts and is still coughing quite a bit. She is trying to rest and get over all of this, while also trying to get her homework up to date. She has a great friend who gets her work for her when she is absent. I am so thankful for that. She is a good kid. I did get tickled at her one day when she told me she didn't know if she could stand having a mom like me. She said I was to strict for her. I laughed and told her thank you, because that ment that I was doing my job. As a parent, I feel that sometimes it is more important that you do what is right for your child instead of doing what the child would want so that you can be "cool" to that child. Parenting isn't about being friends with your child, at least not until they become self sufficient adults. Then being their friend is so cool. That brings me to my oldest son. He and I get along better now than ever. We talk to each other with so much respect and love, it fills my heart. He got a new job, and starts next week. He had lost his other job and was very concerned about it since he just got a loan and is building their new house. But he went out there and found himself a job and called and I could hear the pride and happiness through the phone. He is a fine young man, and I am so proud of his work ethic, as well as family morals. My oldest daughter, though I love her dearly, is the complete opposit of her brother. She works only to get the things she wants, not to prepare for the future or for bills. She lives off of who ever will put up with her at the time. She left my house because she didn't want to follow my rules. And still to this day feels like she was doing enough and shouldn't have to help me around the house. She only worked part time, didn't save much for her to get a car and license, and wanted to sleep all day and go out with her friends and sometimes didn't come home until the next afternoon. I don't know how many hours I spent worrying about that child, wondering if she was okay, or just out "partying" with her friends. I still worry about her, but she is an adult, at least by age, and out on her own. I hate to be such a hard person, but it is time for her to get a dose of reality, or at least live off of someone else. I can't deal with her drama anymore.



My husband is doing okay. Work isn't to good, he is in construction, and until they finish their jobs they have started, they won't get paid. It may be up to a couple weeks, and that is going to be hard. He feels so bad about it, and when he feels like that he pulls away from me. I think it is so that I won't see how he is feeling, and so that I won't have that to deal with too. He doesn't want to "burden" me with it. I wish he would figure out that I worry more when he doesn't talk about it. Oh well, we will get through it no matter what. I love him more every day, and I will help him even if he doesn't realise that I am doing it.



This next week is going to be a little rough, so I guess I am warning everyone who reads this. Monday my husband goes to court due to his ex-wife wanting more child support. I won't go into how I feel about that, but needless to say it really can be frustrating dealing with ex-spouses. Then Tuesday is John's birthday. He would have been 12 years old on that day, had he made it through his GVHD complications and transplant. I still miss him so terribly, especially on special days. I know he is happy and in a better place though and that helps. He lead me back to the Lord with his faith and strength during his life. And he taught me a lot about patience, and kindness. I try every day to do something that he would be proud of, as well as what God would want me to do, and I thank the Lord for every day that I had him here on earth with me. We are all here because of the Lord God, and when he calls us home, we can just pray and hope we lead a life that will allow us to return to him in heaven and to the ones who have gone on before us. That is my prayers, that I can be a good christian woman, and earn the right to be in heaven when it is my turn to be called home.



Well, I guess I have rambled on long enough for now. Take care and live life to its fullest. Like my favorite saying goes,
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Judy