John's Birthday

Well, as I had figured today was an emotionally trying day. I have been on edge and on the verge of tears quite a few times. My boy would have been 12 today, had he made it through all the complications he had. I woke up at 2:00am this morning and remembered back to 12 years ago, that was about the time I was dropping the other kids off with my mom on the way to the hospital to give birth to John. He was born at 6:30am, then B.J. had her first asthma attack and quit breathing at the doctors office in her dad's lap at 2:30 that afternoon. Just like this year, this day 1995 was emotional and trying, just in a different way. But the good news is, I am fine or at least I will be fine. I can't say that I don't wonder why God set this path before me, but my faith tells me that it is the way that God wants it to be and that I will be fine. John is in God's hands, as we all are, so I know he is great, and God only gives us what we can handle. So, I guess it all boils down to just keep on keeping on, and let God do the rest.
May God bless us all,
Judy

Well, my husband over heard me talking on the phone I think, I think it was with my mom, but anyway, I said something that I shouldn't have said. I won't go into it here, it was more or lest something that was between my mom and me, venting you might say about our husbands. But anyway, he over heard and I hurt his feelings and now I am just bummed out so bad. I didn't say what I said in a negative way, or at least I didn't mean to. I thought it was a compliment, but it didn't come across to him that way. I am so sorry, but I do not know what to do about it, especially today of all days. I have been doing okay, or at least I thought so, but now I just feel like crying, my stomach is all torn up, and I just want to go somewhere and hide from the world. Lord please give me strength to get through all of this.
Bummed out,
Judy