Well, thanksgiving went well, We ate lunch with my parents and family, then we came home and I cooked for my husbands mom and dad and a friend of ours. Busy, busy, busy! I have since been working on getting my Christmas tree up, and getting some crafting done. I am starting to have a little of a hard time, which I expected would happen, the closer it gets to Christmas. It was always my favorite time of the year, and I think of John so much during the holidays. I have several ornaments for my tree that he helped make, and that one of his teachers at church gave him before he got real sick, and that helps a little. It reminds me that he is still here in our hearts and minds, and last year we got an ornament that holds a picture, and I put my favorite picture of him that was taken his last Christmas here on earth so that he would always be with us during the holidays. But to be honest, even though I go through the motions, and do have a pretty good time during the holidays, I don't think I will ever be able to enjoy it like I used to. If it wasn't for B.J., I don't think I would even try to go through all the decorating and such, because it is just not the same since John passed away. So, I guess I will just keep trying to go through the motions, and cry when nobody is home but me, and just keep on living as I know John would want me to do. I also know that there are other moms out there who are dealing with all this for the first time this year, and my heart breaks for them too. Well, I guess I will quit rambling for now, and just be thankful that I have my family that is still here on earth with me, and be thankful for the time I had with John, and pray that God helps me through as well as all the other moms out there who are feeling these terrible heartaches and pains of loosing their kids. It just seems so wrong to have to go on after laying to rest a precious child. For those of you who read this and have children, make sure to let them know how much you love them, and hug them as much as possible. Make time to snuggle, and laugh and play with them, for one day, you may not be able to do these things, and that will be what you long for the most. So, love your children and families, before it is to late.
Trying to get through another hard holiday season without my Little John.
Judy
1 comment:
Hi Judy,
I do know that Christmas must be so hard without John. It just wouldn't be the same. I think mum and dad felt the same way for a good number of years when they lost my brother. I suppose having Liesl and I kept them going.....but even now, Mum and dad LOVE Christmas. It is amazing how Jesus heals our hearts as time goes on. Jesus can heal our hearts but the loss of a child will never be forgotten. Every Christmas, around the table, we toast to Shannon who we miss on Christmas Day but we still thoroughly enjoy Christmas. It is still early days for you and your family. Holidays are hard, especially special holidays like Christmas. Jesus will heal your heart even more....you will always miss John, but Jesus will heal your heart so much more than you can ever imagine. I have not lost a child, but mum and dad have....and I lost a brother. I am not saying I know what you are going through but just wanted to encourage you. Love you heaps,
Charisse
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