Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all! Just a quick post to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Brad and Tiff are in Texas now, and he is being processed in. They are in an apartment, and waiting for the army to get Brad processed and then they can find out if the army will come and get their furniture so they can officially be moved in. I miss knowing they are a phone call away, if I should need them to come over. Becky is doing well, working and enjoying married life. She and Sage are in their own place now, and though money is tight they are doing okay. B.J. is half way through her Junior year, and has made an A on her dual-enrollment college course. I have finished my first trimester of Tech school with a 94 average. I received an acedemic award as well as my General Office Assistant Certificate. The only bad thing is that my hubby's work is down to nothing. We can't even pay all our bills on time, let alone buy gifts for anyone. But I know God will provide what we need, so I will just have to trust him and his judgements. Well, that about does it for now, hope you all have a great Christmas, and remember the reason for the season, Jesus Christ's birth. Our Savior and hope for a life in heaven.
God Bless you all,
Judy

Long time no blog.

Yes it has been a long time since I last blogged, but hey, nobody is perfect. I have been going to tech school, and I am enjoying it a lot. We have 3 more nights, then Awards day Thursday and we are done with this trimester. Next trimester starts on January 3rd, and I am looking forward to another trimester of cramming knowledge in my head. I have an average of 94 or so overall, and I will be starting on Word, Excel, Access, and PowerPoint next trimester. These are the ones that I have been looking forward to. I love working with a computer.

My son, Brad, graduated from Bootcamp and is now a United States Army Soldier. He is a Tanker, which means he will either be driving a tank or working as loader, which means loading the ammo. The only thing is, he will be stationed in Fort Bliss, TX. That is quite a ways away, but with the Internet, we will keep in touch, as much as possible anyway.

We are getting the first snow of this winter season. It has been a very long time since we had snow before Christmas. Schools are closed tomorrow, at least the public ones are. Don't know about tech school yet. Of course there are a lot of happy youngsters out there for sure. I wish I could take some pictures and post them, but I am already fighting off the funk, so I am not going outside to take them. I love taking nature pictures, but don't want to end up sicker than I already am. Maybe next time, but anyway, it is time for me to end this post.

May God Bless you all!

Judy

Thanksgiving, What I am thankful for!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I am so thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful for my family, for they fill my heart with love, I am thankful for being able to go to school to better my mind, and with God's help, get a good job when I graduate. I am also thankful for my friends, for they support me when things get tough. But mostly I am thankful that I have God in my life and that he gave His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross so that I may be able to live in the Glory Land with Him some day. What is there to worry about when you have God in your heart, for God will provide! All he asks of us is to believe, and to give ourselves to Him. This country was built on the foundation of Christianity and God, and I just pray that the people leading this great land of ours will put God first again. I am also thankful that in about a week, I will see my son, Brad, again! He graduates and becomes a United States Army Soldier on the 3rd of December. I am so proud of him. He will be stationed in Fort Bliss, TX after graduation, but will be here for about 2 weeks before he has to report to Ft. Bliss. I will miss them, I have grown very fond of the chats and visits from Tiff, his wife, while he has been in Boot camp. I love her as my own, and I am so proud of how she has been dealing with their bills and business while he has been in Ft Knox. She is a blessing to the family. Well, that is about all for now. What are you Thankful for?

I got to talk to my son today. He is through the first six weeks of basic training, and starts his AIT or whatever it is called where he gets trained in what he signed up for, which was the abrom tanks. I also got a picture from Tiff, his wife, so that I could see him.Isn't he a good looking young man? I think so.

I can hardly wait until December when I actually get to see him and give him a hug from me in person!

Well, I will go for now.

God Bless,

Judy

School update

Hello all! Just thought I would update everyone on my school progress. So far I have finished one book, but should finish the second book within the week, and then I will start Office Procedures. I took the test on Chapter 6 of Human relations last night and made a 90 on it. I am on the 7Th Module in Keyboarding, and should test on it in the next few days. Then I will have 2 more to go and I will finish that book and start Business Math. It doesn't seem real that I have got this far and only been in school four weeks. I was afraid that I wouldn't do well, but my confidence has increased, and I am more sure than ever that I will get through Business Systems. I may take 4 trimesters or maybe 5 if I can continue to get pell grants, and that way maybe I can get more of the Majors. I am going for Medical Office Assistant, as well as the other Medical Assistant, but would like to get the general office assistant, and a couple others as well. I will do what I can, and I am sure that if God wants me to get through more of the majors I will. With God, all things are possible!

The last weekend was pretty rough for me and for B.J. because it was John's birthday Saturday. He would have been 15, and it was worse this year than it has been the last couple years. I don't know why, but it hit hard, but thanks to family and the Lord, I got through it best I could, and I am doing better now. B.J. is still hurting, and I think that is part of her problems, but getting her to go to a psychiatrist is not going to be easy. I do intend on making an appointment tomorrow or the next day. She is home today, and I don't want to make an appointment with her here. Her dad will have to take her after school on whichever day I get an appointment, because I will be at school, and I can't miss much or they will kick me out. Wish us luck on getting her the grief counseling she needs, and getting her to open up.

Anyway, it is about time for me to get some work done and get ready for school. Hope you all have a blessed day.

Judy

Blah, blah, blah

Warning though this post might start of with an update on my progress in school, it will probably end in a vent session.

Okay, so school is going pretty good. I have a 95 average in keyboarding so far, and a 88 average in Human Relations, and I finished with a 98 average in Computer concepts. I only have 2 more chapters in Human Relations and I will be finished with that book, and 3 more modules and the final test in Keyboarding. I will then move on to Business Math and Office Technology & Procedures as my next 2 books. I am looking forward to the different books, but apprehensive at the same time. With new books comes the need to find out what the questions will be like on the tests. Like with Human Relations, it took me 3 tests to figure out exactly what they were wanting us to learn from the text in the book. But I will get it one way or the other. I will work hard and get it done.

Now the vent. Why do kids tend to let their friends run over them and take advantage of them, and then get mad when their mom tells them about how wrong it is for their friend to take advantage and use people. When a friend uses your child, they may as well have used or taken advantage of you, and I am not one to put up with that crap. I have tried and tried to help my daughters friend, knowing what her situation at home is. And now that B.J. has her license, they seem to think that I have all the gas in the world or that just a dollar or two makes up for the gas that they use in my car. And then they use my car, and neither of them put gas in the car. B.J. said she couldn't give me the gas money she promised because some came up missing from her purse. That doesn't mean she isn't responsible for what she promised, and it makes me mad that her friend decided not to hang with her because I wasn't letting my car go without gas for the last time and this time, and I meant 10 dollars. Her friend said she didn't want to pay 10 dollars to go up town when she could go to Columbia for that much. Well, what about what they owed me for the last time. Did she think of that? NO!!!!!! I will not be taken advantage of any more by that girl, and I am sorry if my daughter hates me for it, but if she starts up again, I will tell her exactly what I think of her and how she treats my daughter and how I think she is a manipulative using little pain in the butt!!!!! I just wish my daughter would find a friend that doesn't use, that treats her as well as she tries to treat this so-called-friend that I am really starting to despise! I know that if I put my foot down and tell her she is not to be around her any more, she will gravitate to her like flies to honey. But I am about at the point that I do not care if she hates me forever, and about to say that this friend is not to be at my house anymore, in my care anymore, and that B.J. isn't to print out anything for her at my expense. I was used and treated like B.J. is being treated by this girl when I was young, but it only took one or two times for me to put a stop to it. This has been going on for quite some time now, years to be truthful, and I am so tired of it!!!!

Now, since I got that off my chest, I hope that you all have a wonderfully blessed day. Remember to tell your kids you love them, because you don't know when or if you will be able to some other time. John would have been 15 today, and I would just love to tell him how much I love him.

God Bless you all,
Judy

One book down.... many more to go!

Well, I finished my first book in the Business Systems Technology curriculum. It was Computer Concepts, and I have a final average of 98. It only had 3 chapters, and I have worked with computers for a while so I know most of the basics. I have 5 more chapters in Keyboarding, and 7 in Human Relations. As I finish these 2 books, I will start some more. I don't know how many books I will have to finish, but there are quite a few.

Other than school, things are the same here, B.J. is a teen pain in the butt, and Joe works as much as he can when there is work to be done. So it is about the same as before I started school, except that I don't get online to much during the week, cause I am to busy studying.

Well, got to go for now,
God Bless,
Judy

Well....

Well, today has been one of those days. I was sitting, and watching a movie and all of a sudden, the thought popped into my head that in 15 days my son would have been 15 had he lived through his disease and treatment. Then the tears started falling uncontrollably. I am still tearing up and have to try to pull myself together so that I can go to school, and get some studying done. Deep in my heart I know that he is in a much better place, but that doesn't change the fact that there is a big, no HUGE, hole in my heart and I miss him so much. I wonder sometimes what he would be like as a teen. What kind of girl would he like? And how much of a pain in my butt he would be as a teen testing his boundaries? Would he be like the rest of his siblings and cause me a lot of late nights crying myself to sleep, or would he have been the one that wouldn't get to out of control and make his mom cry? I guess these are some questions that will never be answered, and I really don't need to dwell on them, but it is so difficult not to wonder. Most days, though I miss him terribly, I can keep on with my life and be okay with it, but then there are some days that it really hits me hard. So hard that I just want to crawl back into bed and just cry until I am so exhausted that I can't cry, or anything else, any more, and today is one of those days. But I will go on, I will do everything I can to make my angel John proud of me, and do everything I can do to be right with God so that when it is my turn to be called to my loving Saviors side, He will say to me, "Well done my good and faithful Child" and I can live with him in Heaven for eternity. God grant me the serenity to accept the things that can not be changed, the strength to change the things that can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

God bless you all,
Judy

The first week down!

Well, the first week of school is finished. I have taken 2 tests, one of which I will be retaking tonight because I made a 74 on it and if we make under a 77 we have to retake. It is still passing, but it is lower than financial aid requirements, so we have to try to bring it up. My Keyboarding on the other hand I made an 80 on the written test, and a 100 on the objective test, so my average is 90. Yeah me!!!!! I will take it!!! LOL. The Human relations, the one I didn't do as well on, is confusing. I understand that human relations is important. People have to get along in order to have success in the work place. But the history of "Human Relations" and that kind of stuff just..........Well I never was any good at history of any sort, so that about covers why it confuses me. The way they word things in the book, compared to the test is another thing that gets me. But I will take the test again, and get through it one way or another. Of course I pray God will help me with it a lot!!!

Things are getting a little more settled here at home. It was hard getting into a little routine and stuff, but my husband is great and helps a lot around here when he gets home. He knows I need the extra study time and that I can't get everything done and still do my studying. And B.J. is helping too. She is still getting adjusted with the new schedule too since she is taking a college course through dual enrollment on Thursday nights. But we are managing, and I keep telling myself that it should only be about a year, or so, and then I can get a job and we can readjust again! HAHAHA!

We, hi ho hi ho, it's off to school I go!
God Bless,
Judy

tests, YUCK!

Well, I now remember why I didn't like school back when I was young. The tests!!!! You think you have studied enough and you take the test, and you think to yourself,"Was that in the book?" They word everything completely different and throw you off, and confuse the living daylights out of you. Needless to say, I didn't do as well as I thought I would. One of the tests I have to retake because I made a 74, and if you get below a 77 you have to retake it. The other one I made an 80 on, and that isn't even what I thought it would be. So, I have the option to retake the 2nd one over again too. And I may do just that. I could get all down about it all, but I think I will keep a positive outlook and just think of it this way: at least I know now more of what is on the tests, and what to study a little harder on in each of the classes I tested in anyway. And I will do better as I get more used to actually studying things. It has been over 20 years since I took any classes besides a little Russian, and that was at church and for fun, not for a grade. So say a few prayers for me! I will be retaking the tests in the next 3 days.
God Bless!
Judy

September 7th

Well, it is September 7Th and I am getting ready for my first 2 tests which I will take tonight. We did finally get officially enrolled last Thursday, and I have my books. I have been working on 2 subjects, but am going to add a 3rd so that when I am waiting for test results I can have something to do. So, my tests today will be in Business Relations and Keyboarding. The Keyboarding will be first at about 4:00pm and the other will be at 6:00pm or 7:00pm. I am really enjoying being in school so far, and that is a real shock to me and to my mom. I hated school when I was young. I think a lot of it is the fact that I felt like it was more of an obligation than something that I really wanted to do. But now, it is a different story. I have been trying to get into school since the Summer Trimester, 2009. I wanted day classes, but had to go with night classes. But that is alright because it seems that there are not as many students in the evening course. I like the instructor, he will let you know how he feels, and then leaves you alone unless you need some help, or he feels he needs to say something to you. I still have some adjusting to do, but I am handling it so far.

Well, I need to go study,
May God bless you all,
Judy

First night at school.

Well, my first night at school was interesting to say the least. The office never called our class up so we could register, so I am unofficially, officially enrolled now. But we had no books to work out of last night and for the first 2 hours we just sat there bored to no end! Then the instructor took us newbies to have a pow-wow, that was another hour or so. Then he found some keyboarding books and an English book, so I got to start on my keyboarding. I found it rather fun, and I finished with the first lesson and got 2 drills into the second lesson. I also found out I can still type 58 words a minute, not bad for someone who hasn't been doing a job with typing involved. I just blog, and chat online and stuff. Hey, it helped keep my time up. LOL. Internet is a good thing!!!! I think so anyway. But anyway, I hope they get us registered and get our books tonight so that I can be working it. I like the fact that it is more or less work at your own pace, so I can hammer out the stuff that I am comfortable with, and take my time with the ones that I am a little worried about. English being the first one!!!!! I am not that comfortable with that subject. I am looking forward to the math though, I always liked math back when I was in school. It will be good to brush up on my math skills. I also found out that I can get more than one certificate. It is up to me and how much I can get done in the next year or so. Some people get 2 to 3 within one year. So, hey, I will get all I can get as long as I can get the help with funding! I have help for the first year, so if nothing else, maybe I can get 2 to 3 in that time, and if I can get the funding, I can do more in the trimester or 2 after that. We will just have to wait and see.

Well, that about does it for now,
God bless!
Judy

Well, the time is almost here!

The time is almost here! Tomorrow at 2:30pm I will start my journey through the Business Systems Technology course at the tech school. I am so happy it is finally happening and that this time next year I should be graduated from it and trying to find a job. I just pray that God will help me through this as well as finding a good job when I am done. I know I can do it, I just hope I can do it and juggle the stuff that needs done at home. I am afraid that my family may not help enough with the house work and stuff. My husband has to work, and he may be to tired to do much, and my daughter has school and stuff and to be honest she just may not do it. But what will be will be, and I will deal with it as I need to. So if I don't post much, not that I do much right now, but if I don't it is because I am just to busy instead of not having much to post about.
God Bless,
Judy

Why?

Why do teens rip out the hearts of their mother and stomp on them and make them feel like the dirt under a snakes belly, then get all mad when mom tells dad, and dad gets on the teen, so she takes it out on mom. Teens, can't live with them, can't kick them out. What to do, what to do? Crying doesn't help, ranting doesn't either. I am just about ready to go ballistic. I do the best I can to set realistic rules and guidelines for my kids, and they have all tried them a lot, but B.J. strikes at my heart and tries to hurt my feelings and stuff and I can't handle that. My others just fussed and feuded and got over it for a while. Not B.J., she just tries to hurt my feelings in hopes of getting her way. She doesn't do hardly anything I ask of her, and she takes advantage of me too. Lord please help me figure out how to discipline her in a manner that will teacher her the right way to do things. Put it in my heart to know what to do. I am about at my wits end. I am starting a new path in my life, and now she is giving me trouble. I can't take much more. Please help me Lord,
Judy

Wow, it seems unreal.

I now have all the stuff I need to register my daughter for the act test. It seems so unreal to me. When did she get old enough for the act test, or to be taking college History classes in dual enrollment? It just seems like it was yesterday that she started Kindergarten, and now she is a junior in High School and has her drivers license. I am so proud of her! She does so well in school. I pray she continues to do this well through high school and then through college. I feel old! :( LOL Thank you Lord for giving me my precious children.
Judy

Stuck between a rock and a hard place

I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. A friend of mine went a little to far, and has hurt my daughter's feelings. Then when my daughter just let it slide, and was trying to forget about it (which is a very mature way to deal with things like this), the friend said little snide remarks that brought it back up, at church no less. My daughter, once again, just let it slide and didn't make a scene, which makes me proud because there are a lot of times you just have to be the mature one even if you are younger. But then, the wife of a friend saw a post on facebook that my daughter had posted the night it all happened, which was almost 24 hours prior to her reprimanding remark that really ticked my daughter off. Now I feel like I need to stand up for my daughter, but I want to do it in a mature and christian manner, but I also know that my friends take things to personal and get offended real easy. Like they never make mistakes or something, I guess that is the way I would describe them. So, my problem is this: My daughter has been trying to deal with it in a very mature way, but now that it hasn't been dropped, do I confront my friends and if so how. HELP!!!!! I don't like confrontations, but I will not let my daughter be made fun of the way she has, and I will not keep telling her to let it slide when she hasn't done anything wrong. All she did was react to someone else going to far. How do I tell my friends this without them taking offence?
Confused and Stuck,
Judy

It is official

It is official, I have pre-registered in the evening Business Systems Technology class at the local Tennessee Technology Center. And I now know how all the kids feel having to have immunization shots. I had to start having the MMR 2 shot series, because when I was little it was just rubella shots. It is now mandatory for all students going into higher education have both of these shots. I also decided to get the tdap (new version of dpt), as well as to start the Hep-B series. I chose to take the last two on the advice of the nurse at the health department. Can we say pin cushion? I felt like one yesterday! LOL! My arms are sore today, but I am good. I officially sign the registration forms and get my books and start class on September 1st. I will be in class from 2:30pm until 9:00pm. I will have a 30 min supper break too. So it is 6 hours a night,5 nights a week. I am excited as well as nervous. I will try to post every now and then and let you all know how it is going.
God Bless,
Judy

Proud, and yet sad

As I sit here tonight I am proud yet sad at the same time. My oldest child, Brad will leave Tuesday to head out for Basic training in the United States Army. He will be at Fort Knox, and he entered to become trained as a tank crew member. I am proud of him, as I am proud of all who give their service to this great nation. If not for our military, this country would not be what it is today. Of course this country was based on Christian values, and without God, we would have nothing. That being said, this country would not be the free country that it is if not for the fine people who have given their lives for it. Those that served are to be honored and thanked at every chance. We had a family cookout Friday for Brad, and a couple of nice young men that he met while doing his pt. They will be heading to their basic training in the next week as well. I pray for them, as well as all those heading to training, or who are already serving for our fine country, whether here or overseas. Thanks also should be given to all the families that await their loved ones to come back from deployment. These families have to go on with life without a major part of their family, and they do it proudly, and with so much grace. At least the ones I have met have. I know how difficult this can be since I am a "Navy Brat" myself. My father is a 20 year vet of the US Navy. There were many times that he was on the aircraft carriers and we missed him a lot. So to all the families out there with loved ones serving, Thank you. And to the Soldiers themselves, Thank you! And I pray the Good Lord keeps you all safe, and bring you back to your families safe and quickly.
May God bless and keep you all,
Judy

Excited and Nervous

I am both excited and nervous. As a lot of people know, I have been trying to get into the Technology School, into Business systems for 1 1/3 year now (they have trimesters). Well yesterday, I decided to go back up as I usually do shortly before a new trimester begins, and found out that I am still number 18 on the day class waiting list. So I decided to be added to the night class waiting list as well, so that I can get started with schooling. After all I am already 46 years old, I need to get some education and get started on "my life" now that B.J. is going to be a junior this year. I am almost an empty nester, so it is my turn so to speak. Any way, I asked where I was on the night class list and they said that I was number 8. So I said, "OK, so how many spots are going to be open in that class this next trimester?" And guess what, they are going to have 8 openings. I take that to mean that I am going to be going to school. Now that the time is here I am excited but nervous. I didn't like school that much when I was young. I didn't do so well in college, actually got academically suspended from MTSU, then dropped out of Columbia State with only 5 more courses to take, 3 composition and 2 cobalt programming classes. So, I am just nervous as I can be. Have I grown enough to buckle down and do it? Will my brain absorb the information well enough for me to pass. AHAHAH!!! What am I doing? Well, I will put my best foot forward, and do my best and PRAY a lot too. HA. I have faith that I can do it, so I WILL do it. Pray for me!
I pray the Lord Blesses you all,
Judy

Another day

Well, today is another day, a day to try to get some things done. I finally finished my fafsa form, yes I am still trying to get into tech school. It has been over a year, September will mark 4 tri-mesters of waiting on a waiting list for day classes, but I am still trying. Tomorrow I will go up and see if I can find out if I will be able to get into day classes. If it doesn't look like I will be able to get into day classes, I guess I will do night classes. I don't want to, but I can't wait forever to do day classes.

I have a young friend over, he is playing Zelda, and I think he is getting a little frustrated. I know how he feels, I have already played way past where he is, and it does get tough. His parents had to take his sister to a doctors appointment, so I agreed to let him come out here and play the Wii and then I can take him to church. They should be back either before church, or before church is over, so he will go home afterwards.

Other than that, things are going okay. Can't complain, the bills are being paid, and that is what matters. Hopefully if I do get into school, it won't be but a little over a year, and I can go out and try to find a job that has benefits, and we will then be a 2 income family so things might get better.

Well, I am off of here for now, hope you all have a blessed day!
Judy

Life

Well, life has it's ups and downs for everyone. I am doing okay, just having a few issues, don't know exactly what it is. Muscle weakness, getting tired doing little to nothing. If I do much, I feel like I have run a marathon. I went to the doctor, they did blood work, but didn't find anything. He seemed to think it was a viral thing, but it should be better by now I would think, after all it has been 2 days since I saw him and little has changed. They checked my B12 levels, but the results won't be in for a few days (which means any day now), and they gave me a B12 shot just in case. I don't know, we will just have to see how things go.

My son is having a rough time right now too. His Aunt is suing him over a motorcycle. I don't know when it became okay to sue your own family, but his Aunt is. They bought it in their name for Brad, then when he wanted to come back home to TN instead of staying in Idaho, they got mad at him and wouldn't let him bring the motorcycle home with him. He didn't feel it was right paying for it when they wouldn't let him bring it with him, so he didn't pay them back. Well, apparently they didn't pay for it either, and the bank repo'ed it and sold it and there was a 5,000 dollar difference so the bank sued his Aunt for the difference since it was their loan. Well, in Idaho, a verbal agreement, even if they broke it by not letting him bring it with him, is just as binding as a written one, and she won't even let him pay it off a little at a time, and is really being awful to him. I would never treat family that way. I have been screwed by family too, but I didn't sue them or make it harder than it needed to be on them. Who knows, I am just glad I am not part of that family, except through my kids, any more.

Becky is doing okay. She is working at a decent job in the field that she is schooled in, Cosmetology. She is married, and happy, and she is off to Maryland with her husband and some of his family on vacation, visiting his family up there and going to the zoo, and to the Smithsonian Institute. I am proud of them for doing well, and making a happy life for themselves. She is upset that her brother is having to deal with so much, and is finding out that their fathers side of the family isn't all they thought it was. She is starting to understand why I left her dad, and doesn't hate me so much for it. She actually had Bobby Joe give her away at her wedding. She didn't even want her dad there. She invited her grandmother but she wouldn't even come. So sad that family is, I feel sorry for Becky and Brad for the way their fathers side of the family treat them and each other. I am proud though of how she is dealing with it.

B.J. is, well, B.J. and is a typical 16 year old who doesn't talk to her parents unless she wants to. And when she wants to talk, it doesn't matter if we are busy or if I am trying to sleep or have "me" time. Of course if she needs to talk to me, I will drop everything and listen the best I can. It is hard to believe that she will be starting her Junior year of High School. She is growing up so fast and she is my last child home. I don't know where the time has gone. I feel like I missed so much of her youth while I was away with John while he was getting his BMT. I feel like I let her down somehow. I know I was doing what I had to do, but that doesn't make it any easier when it comes to me not being there for her. I did my best, but was it good enough? All I can do is the best I can from here on.

Well, that just leaves my husband, and step-children. My hubby is doing well, or as well as he can. He has had an ulcerated place on his foot that he has been having treated since April. It is finally about healed, but it was bad for a while. I thought he would loose his toe, or even his foot for a while because it looked so bad. But he is doing much better now so that is good. My step-son Wilson is still living with his mom, and jobless, and not trying to take care of himself. He never graduated, and won't get his GED, and won't try to find a job. I worry about him, what will happen when his mom isn't there to take care of him, I do not know. I didn't give my kids the option of living off me, so I do not know what will happen. I won't take care of a grown man who won't try to take care of himself. My other step-son is doing well. He is living in Mobile, Alabama with his fiance, and they have a beautiful son named John Micheal. So, yes, I am a grandmother. Step-Grandmother really, but none the less he is my grandson. I love him so much. Amber, my Step-son, Bobby's fiance is a good girl. She is getting her GED, and they are working hard to move into their own place. They are living with her grandparents right now, but Bobby has a good job and they were house hunting last weekend. I am so excited for them.

Well, that about wraps this up for today, so I will close for now.
May God Bless us all,
Judy

Well, the 4TH is over.

Yes, the 4th of July is over. I am so thankful for the freedoms we have and the men and women who gave their time and lives to ensure those freedoms. I am thankful that we can go to church without being persecuted, and gather with family and even shoot fireworks without worrying about freedoms. but I am tired and would like to get some sleep tonight so I hope all the firework fanatics will be done with them until next year. You really know you are getting old when you want peace and quite shortly after dark. LOL. But honestly, I haven't felt that well the last couple days, and would like to get some sleep before 12 or 1 tonight so that maybe I will feel more human tomorrow.

I miss John a lot right now, maybe because he enjoyed being able to just go outside and look over the trees and see the neighbors fireworks until late during the independence day celebrations. Maybe just because I still have spells missing him a lot. I often wonder how he would be doing in school now, if he had lived he would be starting High School this fall. I often wonder if he would be attracted to the girls yet and if so what type of girl he would have his eye on. What would he want to be, and how many times he would change his mind on his future goals. But these are a lot of things that I will not be able to share with him. I won't be able to watch him grow up and make mistakes and laugh, and cry with him. I won't be able to see him drive off to his first date, or his first prom, or graduate or anything like that. All I can do now is try to remember everything I can about him, and who he was and what he did while he was here on Earth with us. I still get so very angry, especially when I see parents who don't care about their kids. I did care, I did love, I still love all my kids. Why, oh why did mine have to go at such a tender age? I know God has his reasons, and I know I will find them out one day. But sometimes it is hard not to be angry and hurt, and miss him so much that it is hard to function.
May God give me the strength to keep on keeping on,
Good night,
Judy

Well, the 2nd half of the year has begun

Hello again. Well, today is the beginning of the second half of this year. It doesn't seem like the year is half over already, but it is. I started walking today, I made it about 20 minutes around, and around, and around the Christian Service Center. I plugged my ipod in and put the earphones on and listened to some good Gospel Music, and walked and sang. It is the beginning, and I am going to try to keep it up, 5 days a week, from now on and try to get myself into shape.

I heard from my stepson and his fiancee tonight and found out that they are coming up this weekend. I get to see my grandson, and Amber and Bobby and I am looking forward to it. I wish I could see them more often, but at least we do see them when they get to come up.

Well, I am going to bed as it is getting late here.
God Bless,
Judy

Just another day.

Well, today is just another day. I have scrubbed my tub and toilet, and other than that not much. I have decided that I am going to start walking or something again, even if I can't get anyone to go with me. I have to get into better shape, and if I have to I will go by myself, even if I hate going it alone. Sometimes that is how we have to get through some things is alone, but if you really think about it, as Christians we are never alone, because God is always with us if we let him into our hearts and lives. So, starting tomorrow, before or after the work night, I plan on walking at the CSC for at least 20 minutes. So if you are in town, come on by and walk with me.
Tonight we have Church, and I don't exercise on Wednesdays or Sundays.

Well, until next time,
May God be with you all,
Judy

You learn something about yourself every day if you listen.

Well, I learned something about myself this weekend. My washing machine had quit on me, wasn't working correctly. My husband went and got me another one, basically within 24 hours. I couldn't believe how happy I was just to get a new washer that worked. I was so excited that I washed the first load, then swapped that load into the dryer, set the dryer, and emptied the lint trap, then proceeded to wash the 2nd load. So after a while, I went to check the loads and realised that the dryer wasn't running so I opened the door to fold the clothes. Guess what I forgot to do in the excitement of putting that 2nd load in the washer. Yes, I forgot to push the button to start the dryer. LOL. I thought, "you are really getting to be an old woman now, you get so excited about a washer that you forget to start the dryer." How silly am I? I guess we all know now. But I now have caught up on my laundry, I have the last regular load in the wash, and the dryer running. After that all I have is a small load of delicates, B.J.'s dresses, and I will be done. So, what I learned about myself through this process is that I am a more mature woman than I thought. As a young woman, I never thought I would be excited about having a new washing machine. I never thought I would be that "domesticated". Now I just realise that I am a domesticated woman, who is happy with the regular things, and that I don't have to have the extras. Yes, the extras are great, and fun, and such, but the important things are not the extras, but the normal, regular stuff that helps to keep the family happy, healthy, and together, even if it is just a washing machine.
God has Blessed me with so much,
Have a great day,
Judy

Good morning!

Well, it is Sunday morning and I sit here waiting until time for church, enjoying a little computer time while my hubby sleeps, and B.J. does her final preparations for church camp. She leaves shortly after church for Mid-South Youth Camp for the week. Can you say vacation for the both of us. I love her dearly, but she is a teen girl with attitude that is for sure.

Thursday was great, we had a few extra people at the work night that we are doing to get the clothes ready for sending to KY. We actually got a lot of stuff done, and had a lot of laughs as well. I enjoy doing stuff like this, but to be honest, I will be glad when we get this project done for this year! We have been working on it for almost a month now, and still have a couple nights to go at least.

I will be calling the foot Dr. tomorrow, as he took me off one of my meds for my neuropathy for my feet, and now I can't sleep for the pain every night, and it is getting worse. I have been off the one med for a week and a half, and I only got about 2 hours sleep last night because I couldn't get my feet to quit hurting enough to sleep. I don't know if he will up the meds I am still on, or if he will add the other back, or what, but something has to be done. My feet are hurting 24/7 now, and I can't take much more. I walk around almost in tears sometimes from it.

We also found out that our washer is about dead. It will run water until it over flows and won't agitate, but if you stop the cycle and advance it to the spin cycle it will spin out real well. The only problem with that is the clothes don't get clean that way, so, I guess it is time for a new one. That one has been around for quite a while, may it rest in peace! HAHA! It has been used that is for sure!

Well, I am off of here for a while.
Have a great day and God Bless,
Judy

Hello Again.

Hello again, things are going okay here. I am still waiting to get into school, that is frustrating to say the least. But the Lord will provide when the time is right. B.J. is annoying as usual, but will be going to church camp soon, so I will have a week to myself. Other than that I am just trying to keep myself busy and doing things for others. The main thing right now is getting things ready to send to Meniffee County (sp?), as one of Lomax Church of Christ's missions is supporting a church there. We collect clothes as such to send up there for them to pass out to those who need it. I am helping to get the clothes sorted and boxed and ready to be taken up to Kentucky. It gives me something meaningful to do 2 nights a week, and it makes me feel good to help in this way. It isn't easy work, but it isn't hard either, just long and tedious work.

My grandson is living in Mobile, Alabama now and I miss him and his parents a lot. I hope they can come up again soon. It is a 6 to 8 hour drive down there, and we just can't afford it right now. But one day I hope to go see him there, I am just going to have to be patient I guess.

Well, that is about it right now. Have a great day,
Judy

Wow, It has been a while!

Well, it has been a while since I have posted. I will not go through the many reasons why I haven't, there are too many ups and downs since the last post. But I am still around, still going day by day, and still trusting God, and the fact that he is in control and has a plan for me and my life.

B.J. has her drivers license and goes out with friends on occasion. She went with friends to the movies Saturday, and had a good time. Yes, she still gives me some teenage drama, but not as bad as my other kids did. She likes to push the boundaries on occasion, but that is what teens do, or at least in my experience they do. She is still an honor student, and has been accepted into the National Beta Club. I don't know where she gets her smarts so to speak, but she is a very smart young lady, and I know she will do something in her future. Right now she is thinking something in the animal medicine field.

My grandson and his parents got to come up from Alabama over Memorial Day Weekend. I loved seeing them all. I just wish I could see them more often so that I could spoil him a little. HAHAHA! I miss them.

I am still waiting for the school to call, and am beginning to get frustrated with having to wait. I just pray that I get in soon. I am ready to do something to do with my life. After all, I have been a stay at home mom now for over 23 years, I need to make a life for me. I need to do more than just stay at home and be mom, something that is mine so to speak. A job that would help us financially, and maybe be able to get a nest egg built up, and go on trips and such. That is what I am looking for in my life.

It has been 3+ years since my young man earned his angel wings, and I still miss him as if it was just yesterday. Some days I don't know how I get through, I just try to keep busy doing something, and keep the good moments in my heart. I was getting my video camera ready, and checking my cassettes for it, and found the one from when I got the video camera for Christmas. It was John's last Christmas, when we were in Vanderbilt. It rocked me to my core, and I am still struggling to not let it get me down to far. He was having fun going through all his new DS games, and so was B.J. and they wouldn't even look at the camera much, but he was in it. It was hard for me, as you can probably tell. I don't think that many people really realise just how hard a time that I still have with all of this. Not even my family. I don't let people see me down like this, for fear that they will feel uncomfortable and shy away from me more that a lot of them already have. I feel as if I have to be happy all the time when people are around, or if I am out around other people. But anyway, life goes on.

Well I guess I will go for now, got some housework to do, not that I enjoy it at all.
Hope all out in blog land has a great day,
Till next time,
Judy